No Worries

All of my life, I have been a worrier.  Not a BAD worrier, but I would worry like crazy when something big was going on.  So bad, that my body wouldn't let me sleep.  I am trying to remind myself that worrying doesn't help anything.  Also, if I have a lot to do...I tend to think, and make lists in my head all night, again, something else that keeps me from sleeping.  So basically I haven't had much sleep lately.  THere is just so much going on that is keeping my mind going.  Nothing serious, just new things in life we have to adjust to.  I have always loved being organized and I would have planners with me at all times, even tho most of the time I had nothing to write in the planners, I never did much! haha  But now, my planner is BOOKED!  Almost everyday I have somethign that HAS to get done, or a trip we have to go on for Carter, or something.  I mean I like being busy, but some days its just too much.  This week, I have been at my folks alot learning their books for daycare so I can help them out a little. This weekend is Father's Day weekend, so we have to figure out how to fit in time with both of our dads before we leave Sunday afternoon for Addison.  Carter gets his helmet that next monday morning so we have to leave sunday to get there in time to put carter to bed before his BIG DAY! haha  So then all day Monday we will be out of town and then as soon as we get back, Derrick will more than likely go to work so that he can make up sometime. Then this weekend is my cousins first birthday, and possibly a second garage sale to get rid of all the stuff that didn't get sold the first time around. and then the next tuesday we go back to addison to get carters helmet fit, and then we go every two weeks.  THat alone will be enough to kill me! haha  Its stressful enough going somewhere for the day, hoping you have everything your baby couldn't possibly need while you are gone, but to go someone over night...that like a whole extra bag of baby crap! haha  but I am sure after we do it a couple times I will have my packing list memorized and we will be good.  I just wish gas wasn't so expensive right now...oh well.  I just realized this blog is about basically nothing, i just haven't done it in a while.  OH...I am thinking about giving Carter some cereal tonight, we will see...he is over 5 months old and i think he is ready.  I am also thinking about making my own baby food at home instead of buying it in the store, that should save us some money.  I will just add that to my "stay at home mom" list of things to do...it just keeps getting longer. but I love it!  Also....my SIL is due with her first baby in less than two months and well...it really could be any day now and I am just PAST excited!  This is my first niece and I am just super thrilled to meet her....i can barely stand it.  Karen, I know you are going to read this at some point.  After talking last night, I realized how far our relationship has come in the last few years and I am so thankful for you.  Everyday I feel like we are closer and I love our conversations...even if they are mainly thru text and email (thanks for understanding that I dont really like or have time for phone convos! haha)  Ok on that note...I have things to do before Carter wakes up! :)

Next phase of life

Well Carter has his last scan on June 8 and then they will order his helmet. We go to get the helmet on June 20. I'm glad it's happening fast so that we can get it fixed but at the same time I'm not ready. it just sucks. As a mom you don't want to ever feel like you caused harm to your kids or let them down in any way. There was really no way I could have prevented this from happening yet I still feel responsible. I know this is just like getting braces, they are temporary and make you look so much better, just like his helmet. But I hate that he is having to wear one. I hate that I know people will make rude comments and I hate that I probably won't be able to control myself when they do. Derrick and I were talking the other day about everything that's going on and he said "when it rains, it pours, huh?". And that is so true o our lives lately. Everyday something else keeps popping up that requires money, emotional strength, time... All of which I just don't have anymore. God knows how much we can handle and apparently it's a lot more than we thought we could. Everything will work our and I shouldn't worry... But I worry. I get upset. I am trying to work on that, but this is my kid! It's a whole new level of worry! Please pray for me and my family to be strong. And pray that we can have a garage sale sometime soon so we can make some money to pay for this darn helmet! Ps insurance won't cover
Any of it! Joy! Oh well, we can make it.