Love Is a Covenant
Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. – Ruth 1:16
Congratulations. You’ve reached the end of the Love Dare – the book. But the experience and challenge of loving your mate is something that never comes to an end. It goes on for the rest of your life.
This book may end at Day 40. But who says your dare has to stop? And as you view your marriage relationship from this point on, we challenge you to consider it a covenant instead of a contract. These two words sound similar in meaning and intent but are in reality much different. Seeing marriage as a contract is like saying to your spouse, “I take you for me and we’ll see if this works out.” But realizing it as a covenant changes it to say, “I give myself to you and commit to this marriage for life.”
There are many other differences between covenants and contracts. A contract is usually a written agreement based on distrust, outlining the conditions and consequences if broken. A covenant is a verbal commitment based on trust, assuring someone that your promise is unconditional and good for life. It is spoken before God out of love for another.
A contract is self-serving and comes with limited liability. It establishes a time frame for certain deliverables to be met and accomplished. A covenant is for the benefit of others and comes with unlimited responsibility. It has no expiration date. It is “til death do us part.” A contract can be broken with mutual consent. A covenant is intended to be unbreakable.
The Bible contains several major covenants as part of the unfolding story of God’s people. God made a covenant with Noah, promising never to destroy all flesh with a worldwide flood (Genesis 9:12-17). He made a covenant with Abraham, promising that an entire nation of descendents would come from his family line (Genesis 17:1-8). He made a covenant with Moses, declaring that the people of Israel would be God’s permanent possession (Exodus 19:3-6). He made a covenant with David, promising that a ruler would sit on his throne forever (2 Samuel 7:7-16). Ultimately, He made a “new covenant” by the blood of Christ, establishing an unending, unchanging legacy of forgiven sins and eternal life for those who believe in Him (Hebrews 9:15). Never once has God broken any of these covenants.
And then there’s marriage – the strongest covenant on earth between two people, the pledge of a man and woman to establish a love that is unconditional and lasts a lifetime. In marriage, your wedding ring represents your covenant vows – not merely commitments you hoped to keep but premeditated promises, publicly spoken and witnessed by others.
As you’ve read numerous times in these pages, keeping this covenant is not something you can do in your own strength. There’s good reason why God was the One who initiated covenants with His people. He alone is able to fulfill the demands of His own promises. He alone is able to forgive the receivers of His covenant when they fail to uphold their part of the agreement. But the Spirit of God is within you by the virtue of your faith in His Son and the grace bestowed upon you in salvation. That means you now can exercise your role as covenant keeper, no matter what may arise to challenge your faithfulness to it.
Especially if your spouse is not in a place of receiving your love right now, the act of covenant keeping can grow more daunting with each passing day. But marriage is not a contract with escape clauses and exception wordings. Marriage is a covenant intended to cut off all avenues of retreat or withdrawal. There’s nothing in all the world that should sever what God has joined together. Your love is based on covenant.
Hundreds of years after the prophet Malachi recorded these words, people are still wondering why God withholds His hand of blessing at times from their homes and marriages. “You say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been witness between you and your wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant … For I hate divorce, says the Lord, the God of Israel, and him who covers his garment with wrong, says the Lord of hosts. So take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal treacherously” (Malachi 2:14, 16).
Every marriage is called to be an earthly picture of God’s heavenly covenant with His church. It is to reveal to the world the glory and beauty of God’s unconditional love for us. Jesus said, “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love” (John 15:9 NIV). Let His words inspire you to be a channel of God’s love to your spouse.
The time is now, man or woman of God, to renew your covenant of love in all sincerity and surrender. Love is too holy a treasure to trade in for another, and too powerful a bond to be broken without dire consequences. Fasten your love afresh on this one the Lord has given you to cherish, prize, and honor.
Your life together is before you. Dare to take hold of it and never let go.
We dare you.
Today’s Dare
Write out a renewal of your vows and place them in your home. Perhaps if appropriate, you could make arrangements to formally renew your wedding vows before a minister and with family present. Make it a living testament to the value of marriage in God’s eyes and the high honor of being one with your mate.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Love dare-day 39
Love Endures
Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:8
Of all the things love dares to do, this the ultimate. Though threatened, it keeps pursuing. Though challenged, it keeps moving forward. Though mistreated and rejected, it refuses to give up.
Love never fails.
Many times when a marriage is in crisis, the spouse who is trying to make things work will go to the other, declaring in no uncertain terms that no matter what has happened in the past, he or she is committed to this marriage. Their love can be counted on to last. They promise. But not wanting to hear this yet, the other spouse holds their position. They still want out. They don’t see this marriage lasting long-term. Nor do they even want it to anymore.
The partner who has just laid his or her heart on the line, extending the olive branch, can’t handle the rejection. So they withdraw their statement. “Fine. If that’s the way you want it, that’s the way it’ll be.”
But if love is really love, it doesn’t waffle when it’s not received the way you want it to be. If love can be told to quit loving, then it’s not really love. Love that is from God is unending, unstoppable. If the object of its affection doesn’t choose to receive it, love keeps giving anyway.
Love never fails.
Never.
That’s what Jesus’ love is like. His disciples were nothing if not unpredictable. After their final Passover meal together, when Jesus told them they would all forsake Him before the night was over, Peter declared, “Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away … Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You” (Matthew 26:33, 35). All the other disciples echoed the very same promise.
But later that night, Jesus’ inner circle of followers – Peter, James, and John – would sleep through Christ’s agony in the garden. On the way to Christ’s crucifixion, Peter would deny Him three times in the courtyard. But at the precise moment, the Bible says Jesus “turned and looked” at him (Luke 22:61). His men had failed Him – again – within hours of their sworn promises. Yet He never stopped loving them, because He and His love are “the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
When you have done everything within your power to obey God, your spouse may still forsake you and walk away – just as Jesus’ followers did to Him. But if your marriage fails, if your spouse walks away, let it not be because you gave up or stopped loving them.
Love never fails.
Of the nine “fruits of the Spirit” listed in Galatians 5, the first of all is love. And because the unchanging Holy Spirit is its source – the same Holy Spirit who dwells in the hearts of all believers – then the love He creates in you is unchanging as well. It is based on the will of God, the calling of God, and the Word of God – all unchanging things. The Bible declares them “irrevocable” (Romans 11:29). “Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away” (Luke 21:33).
Only a few days ago you were Love Dared to build your marriage on the Word of God. That’s because when all else fails, the truth of God will still be standing. Along the way you have also been dared to be patient, to be unselfish, to sacrifice for your mate’s needs.
These are not just loving ideas, existing in isolation. Each quality of love outlined in this book is based on the love of God, captured and expressed in the Word of God. The unchanging Word of God. No challenge or circumstance can occur that will ever put an expiration date on Him or His love. Therefore, your love – made of the same substance – bears the same, unchanging characteristics.
Love never fails.
So today your dare is to put your unfailing love into the most powerful, personal words you can. This is your chance to declare that no matter what imperfections exist – both in you and in your spouse – your love is greater still. No matter what they’ve done or how often they’ve done it, you choose to love them anyway. Though you’ve been far from steady in your treatment of them over the years, your days of being inconsistent in love are over. You accept this one man or woman as God’s special gift to you, and you promise to love them until death.
You’re saying to your spouse, “Even if you don’t like what you’re reading – even if you don’t like me – I choose to love you anyway. Forever.”
Because love never fails.
Today’s Dare
Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.
Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:8
Of all the things love dares to do, this the ultimate. Though threatened, it keeps pursuing. Though challenged, it keeps moving forward. Though mistreated and rejected, it refuses to give up.
Love never fails.
Many times when a marriage is in crisis, the spouse who is trying to make things work will go to the other, declaring in no uncertain terms that no matter what has happened in the past, he or she is committed to this marriage. Their love can be counted on to last. They promise. But not wanting to hear this yet, the other spouse holds their position. They still want out. They don’t see this marriage lasting long-term. Nor do they even want it to anymore.
The partner who has just laid his or her heart on the line, extending the olive branch, can’t handle the rejection. So they withdraw their statement. “Fine. If that’s the way you want it, that’s the way it’ll be.”
But if love is really love, it doesn’t waffle when it’s not received the way you want it to be. If love can be told to quit loving, then it’s not really love. Love that is from God is unending, unstoppable. If the object of its affection doesn’t choose to receive it, love keeps giving anyway.
Love never fails.
Never.
That’s what Jesus’ love is like. His disciples were nothing if not unpredictable. After their final Passover meal together, when Jesus told them they would all forsake Him before the night was over, Peter declared, “Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away … Even if I have to die with You, I will not deny You” (Matthew 26:33, 35). All the other disciples echoed the very same promise.
But later that night, Jesus’ inner circle of followers – Peter, James, and John – would sleep through Christ’s agony in the garden. On the way to Christ’s crucifixion, Peter would deny Him three times in the courtyard. But at the precise moment, the Bible says Jesus “turned and looked” at him (Luke 22:61). His men had failed Him – again – within hours of their sworn promises. Yet He never stopped loving them, because He and His love are “the same yesterday and today and forever” (Hebrews 13:8).
When you have done everything within your power to obey God, your spouse may still forsake you and walk away – just as Jesus’ followers did to Him. But if your marriage fails, if your spouse walks away, let it not be because you gave up or stopped loving them.
Love never fails.
Of the nine “fruits of the Spirit” listed in Galatians 5, the first of all is love. And because the unchanging Holy Spirit is its source – the same Holy Spirit who dwells in the hearts of all believers – then the love He creates in you is unchanging as well. It is based on the will of God, the calling of God, and the Word of God – all unchanging things. The Bible declares them “irrevocable” (Romans 11:29). “Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will not pass away” (Luke 21:33).
Only a few days ago you were Love Dared to build your marriage on the Word of God. That’s because when all else fails, the truth of God will still be standing. Along the way you have also been dared to be patient, to be unselfish, to sacrifice for your mate’s needs.
These are not just loving ideas, existing in isolation. Each quality of love outlined in this book is based on the love of God, captured and expressed in the Word of God. The unchanging Word of God. No challenge or circumstance can occur that will ever put an expiration date on Him or His love. Therefore, your love – made of the same substance – bears the same, unchanging characteristics.
Love never fails.
So today your dare is to put your unfailing love into the most powerful, personal words you can. This is your chance to declare that no matter what imperfections exist – both in you and in your spouse – your love is greater still. No matter what they’ve done or how often they’ve done it, you choose to love them anyway. Though you’ve been far from steady in your treatment of them over the years, your days of being inconsistent in love are over. You accept this one man or woman as God’s special gift to you, and you promise to love them until death.
You’re saying to your spouse, “Even if you don’t like what you’re reading – even if you don’t like me – I choose to love you anyway. Forever.”
Because love never fails.
Today’s Dare
Spend time in personal prayer, then write a letter of commitment and resolve to your spouse. Include why you are committing to this marriage until death, and that you have purposed to love them no matter what. Leave it in a place that your mate will find it.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Love dare-day 38
Love Fulfills Dreams
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4
What is something your spouse would really, really love? And how often do you ask yourself that question?
Common sense tells us we can’t give our wife or husband everything they might like. Our budgets and account balances tell us we probably couldn’t afford it anyway. And even if we could, it might not be good for us. Or for them.
But perhaps you’ve let “no” become too quick a response. Perhaps you’ve let this negative default setting become too reasoned and rational, too automatic. What if instead of dismissing the thought, you did your best to honor it. What might happen if the one thing they said you’d never do for them became the next thing you did?
Love sometimes needs to be extravagant. To go all out. It sometimes needs to set aside the technicalities and just bless because it wants to.
Is that thinking too much like a teenager? Is love like this no longer on the menu after so many years of marriage? After all, with the way your relationship might be at the moment, wouldn’t it be less than genuine to indulge your spouse if your heart’s not in it?
Well, how about putting your heart in it. How about developing a new level of love that actually wants to fulfill every dream and desire you possibly can.
Hasn’t God’s love met needs in your heart that once seemed out of the question? You were living under such a load of sin and regret; you thought you’d never earn your way back into His good graces. But He looked at you with love and said you didn’t have to. He wanted you back. He wanted you to realize your need for Him, and that as you repented and turned to Him, He would love and forgive you. “God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ” (Ephesians 2:4-5).
You thought life was over when a certain setback took all the wind out of your sails. You broke down and cried out to Him. You prayed like you’d never prayed before. And though it wasn’t easy getting back up and walking on, you somehow survived. He met you with His promised peace “which surpasses all comprehension” (Philippians 4:7) and kept you on your feet.
It wasn’t when you were behaving like an angel that God chose to pour out His love on you. It wasn’t when you were behaving like an angel that God chose to pour out His love on you. It wasn’t because you were so deserving that He offered you His grace. “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Chris died for us” (Romans 5:8).
He’s your model. He’s the One your love is designed to imitate. Though you weren’t a likely candidate for His love, He gave it anyway. He paid the price.
Not everything your spouse wants has a hefty price tag. Not everything he or she desires can be bought with money. Your wife may really want your time. She may really want your attention. She may really want to be treated like a lady, to know that her husband considers her his greatest treasure. She may really want to see in your eyes a love that chooses to be there no matter what.
Your husband may really want your respect. He may really want you to acknowledge him as the head of the house in front of the children. He may really want you to put your arms around his neck for no apparent reason, surprising him with a long kiss or a love note when there’s not even a birthday or anniversary to justify it. He may really need to know that you still think he’s strong and handsome, the way you used to.
· Dreams and desires come in all shapes and sizes. But love takes careful notice of each one.
· Love calls you to listen to what your mate is saying and hoping for.
· Love calls you to remember the things that are unique to your relationship, the pleasures and enjoyments that bring a smile to the other’s face.
· Love calls you to give when it would be a lot more convenient to wait.
· And love calls you to daydream about these opportunities so regularly that their desires become yours as well.
We dare you to think in terms of overwhelming your spouse with love. To surprise them by exceeding all their expectations with your kindness. It may or may not be a financial sacrifice, but it needs to reflect a heart that is willing to express itself with extravagance.
What is something your spouse would really, really love? It’s time you started living out the answer to that question.
Today’s Dare
Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. – Psalm 37:4
What is something your spouse would really, really love? And how often do you ask yourself that question?
Common sense tells us we can’t give our wife or husband everything they might like. Our budgets and account balances tell us we probably couldn’t afford it anyway. And even if we could, it might not be good for us. Or for them.
But perhaps you’ve let “no” become too quick a response. Perhaps you’ve let this negative default setting become too reasoned and rational, too automatic. What if instead of dismissing the thought, you did your best to honor it. What might happen if the one thing they said you’d never do for them became the next thing you did?
Love sometimes needs to be extravagant. To go all out. It sometimes needs to set aside the technicalities and just bless because it wants to.
Is that thinking too much like a teenager? Is love like this no longer on the menu after so many years of marriage? After all, with the way your relationship might be at the moment, wouldn’t it be less than genuine to indulge your spouse if your heart’s not in it?
Well, how about putting your heart in it. How about developing a new level of love that actually wants to fulfill every dream and desire you possibly can.
Hasn’t God’s love met needs in your heart that once seemed out of the question? You were living under such a load of sin and regret; you thought you’d never earn your way back into His good graces. But He looked at you with love and said you didn’t have to. He wanted you back. He wanted you to realize your need for Him, and that as you repented and turned to Him, He would love and forgive you. “God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ” (Ephesians 2:4-5).
You thought life was over when a certain setback took all the wind out of your sails. You broke down and cried out to Him. You prayed like you’d never prayed before. And though it wasn’t easy getting back up and walking on, you somehow survived. He met you with His promised peace “which surpasses all comprehension” (Philippians 4:7) and kept you on your feet.
It wasn’t when you were behaving like an angel that God chose to pour out His love on you. It wasn’t when you were behaving like an angel that God chose to pour out His love on you. It wasn’t because you were so deserving that He offered you His grace. “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Chris died for us” (Romans 5:8).
He’s your model. He’s the One your love is designed to imitate. Though you weren’t a likely candidate for His love, He gave it anyway. He paid the price.
Not everything your spouse wants has a hefty price tag. Not everything he or she desires can be bought with money. Your wife may really want your time. She may really want your attention. She may really want to be treated like a lady, to know that her husband considers her his greatest treasure. She may really want to see in your eyes a love that chooses to be there no matter what.
Your husband may really want your respect. He may really want you to acknowledge him as the head of the house in front of the children. He may really want you to put your arms around his neck for no apparent reason, surprising him with a long kiss or a love note when there’s not even a birthday or anniversary to justify it. He may really need to know that you still think he’s strong and handsome, the way you used to.
· Dreams and desires come in all shapes and sizes. But love takes careful notice of each one.
· Love calls you to listen to what your mate is saying and hoping for.
· Love calls you to remember the things that are unique to your relationship, the pleasures and enjoyments that bring a smile to the other’s face.
· Love calls you to give when it would be a lot more convenient to wait.
· And love calls you to daydream about these opportunities so regularly that their desires become yours as well.
We dare you to think in terms of overwhelming your spouse with love. To surprise them by exceeding all their expectations with your kindness. It may or may not be a financial sacrifice, but it needs to reflect a heart that is willing to express itself with extravagance.
What is something your spouse would really, really love? It’s time you started living out the answer to that question.
Today’s Dare
Ask yourself what your mate would want if it was obtainable. Commit this to prayer, and start mapping out a plan for meeting some (if not all) of their desires, to whatever level you possibly can.
Love dare-day 37
Love Agrees in Prayer
If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by May Father. – Matthew 18:19
If someone told you that by changing one thing about your marriage, you could guarantee with near 100 percent assurance that your life together would significantly improve, you would at least want to know what it was. And for many godly couples, that “one thing” is the daily practice of praying together.
To someone who tends to devalue spiritual matters, this sounds fairly ridiculous. And if told that shared prayer is a key ingredient in marital longevity and leads to a heightened sense of sexual intimacy, they would think you had really gone too far. But the unity that grows between a man and woman who regularly pray together forms an intense and powerful connection. Within the sanctuary of your marriage, praying together can work wonders on every level of your relationship.
When you were joined together as husband and wife, God gave you a wedding gift – a permanent prayer partner for life. When you need wisdom on a certain decision, you and your prayer partner can seek God together for the answer. When you’re struggling with your own fears and insecurities, your prayer partner can hold your hand and intercede on your behalf. When you and your spouse are not getting along and can’t get past a particular argument or sticking point, you can call a time out, drop your weapons, and go with your partner into emergency prayer. It should become your automatic reflex action when you don’t know what else to do.
It’s hard to stay angry long with someone for whom you’re praying. It’s hard not to back down when you’re hearing your mate humbly cry out to God and beg Him for mercy in the midst of your heated crisis. In prayer, two people remember that God has made them one. And in the grip of His uniting presence, disharmony blends into beauty.
Praying for your spouse leads your heart to care more deeply about them. But more importantly, God is pleased when He sees you both humbling yourselves and seeking His face together. His blessing falls on you when you agree in prayer.
The word Jesus used when He talked about “agreeing” in prayer has the idea of harmonic symphony. Two separate notes, played one at a time, sound different. They’re opposed to each other. But play them at the same time – in agreement – and they can create a pleasing sense of harmony. Together they give a fuller, more complete sound than either of them can make on its own.
Agreeing in prayer is like that – even in the midst of disagreeing. It pulls you both back toward your real center. It places you on common ground, face-to-face before the Father. It restores harmony in the midst of contention.
The church – which in Scripture has a marriage connotation with Christ – can sometimes be a place where conflict rules. The disharmony that can flare up over various matters can derail the church from its mission and disrupt the free flow of worship and unity. At times godly church leaders will see what is taking place, break off discussions, and call the people of God to prayer. Instead of continuing the discord and allowing more feelings to be hurt, they will seek unity by turning their hearts back to God and appealing to Him for help.
The same thing happens in our homes when there is an intervention of prayer, even at high points of disagreement. It stops the bleeding. It quiets the loud voices. It pauses you as you realize whose presence you’re in.
But prayer is for a lot more than breaking up fights. Prayer is a privilege to be enjoyed on a consistent, daily basis. When you know that prayer time awaits you before going to bed, it will change the way you spend your evening. Even if your prayers together are typically short and to the point, this will become a standing appointment that you can orbit your day around, keeping God in the middle of everything.
It’s true that beginning a habit like this can initially feel awkward and uncomfortable. Anything this powerful will surprise you with its weight and responsibility when you actually try doing it. But bear in mind that God wants you to engage with Him – invites you, in fact – and He will grow you as you take it seriously and push past those times when you don’t know what to say.
You’ll look back at this common thread that ran through everything from average Mondays to major decisions and be so thankful for this “one thing” that changed everything. This is one area where it’s imperative that you agree to agree.
Today’s Dare
Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this -- whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.
If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by May Father. – Matthew 18:19
If someone told you that by changing one thing about your marriage, you could guarantee with near 100 percent assurance that your life together would significantly improve, you would at least want to know what it was. And for many godly couples, that “one thing” is the daily practice of praying together.
To someone who tends to devalue spiritual matters, this sounds fairly ridiculous. And if told that shared prayer is a key ingredient in marital longevity and leads to a heightened sense of sexual intimacy, they would think you had really gone too far. But the unity that grows between a man and woman who regularly pray together forms an intense and powerful connection. Within the sanctuary of your marriage, praying together can work wonders on every level of your relationship.
When you were joined together as husband and wife, God gave you a wedding gift – a permanent prayer partner for life. When you need wisdom on a certain decision, you and your prayer partner can seek God together for the answer. When you’re struggling with your own fears and insecurities, your prayer partner can hold your hand and intercede on your behalf. When you and your spouse are not getting along and can’t get past a particular argument or sticking point, you can call a time out, drop your weapons, and go with your partner into emergency prayer. It should become your automatic reflex action when you don’t know what else to do.
It’s hard to stay angry long with someone for whom you’re praying. It’s hard not to back down when you’re hearing your mate humbly cry out to God and beg Him for mercy in the midst of your heated crisis. In prayer, two people remember that God has made them one. And in the grip of His uniting presence, disharmony blends into beauty.
Praying for your spouse leads your heart to care more deeply about them. But more importantly, God is pleased when He sees you both humbling yourselves and seeking His face together. His blessing falls on you when you agree in prayer.
The word Jesus used when He talked about “agreeing” in prayer has the idea of harmonic symphony. Two separate notes, played one at a time, sound different. They’re opposed to each other. But play them at the same time – in agreement – and they can create a pleasing sense of harmony. Together they give a fuller, more complete sound than either of them can make on its own.
Agreeing in prayer is like that – even in the midst of disagreeing. It pulls you both back toward your real center. It places you on common ground, face-to-face before the Father. It restores harmony in the midst of contention.
The church – which in Scripture has a marriage connotation with Christ – can sometimes be a place where conflict rules. The disharmony that can flare up over various matters can derail the church from its mission and disrupt the free flow of worship and unity. At times godly church leaders will see what is taking place, break off discussions, and call the people of God to prayer. Instead of continuing the discord and allowing more feelings to be hurt, they will seek unity by turning their hearts back to God and appealing to Him for help.
The same thing happens in our homes when there is an intervention of prayer, even at high points of disagreement. It stops the bleeding. It quiets the loud voices. It pauses you as you realize whose presence you’re in.
But prayer is for a lot more than breaking up fights. Prayer is a privilege to be enjoyed on a consistent, daily basis. When you know that prayer time awaits you before going to bed, it will change the way you spend your evening. Even if your prayers together are typically short and to the point, this will become a standing appointment that you can orbit your day around, keeping God in the middle of everything.
It’s true that beginning a habit like this can initially feel awkward and uncomfortable. Anything this powerful will surprise you with its weight and responsibility when you actually try doing it. But bear in mind that God wants you to engage with Him – invites you, in fact – and He will grow you as you take it seriously and push past those times when you don’t know what to say.
You’ll look back at this common thread that ran through everything from average Mondays to major decisions and be so thankful for this “one thing” that changed everything. This is one area where it’s imperative that you agree to agree.
Today’s Dare
Ask your spouse if you can begin praying together. Talk about the best time to do this -- whether it’s in the morning, your lunch hour, or before bedtime. Use this time to commit your concerns, disagreements, and needs before the Lord. Don’t forget to thank Him for His provision and blessing. Even if your spouse refuses to do this, resolve to spend this daily time in prayer yourself.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Love dare-day 36
Love is God’s Word
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. – Psalm 119:105
For some people, the Bible seems just too big to understand. It’s like an impossible challenge. They don’t know where or how to begin. But as a Christian, you’re not left alone to try grasping the major themes and deep meanings of the Bible. The Holy Spirit, who now lives in your heart by the way of salvation, is an illuminator of truth. “For the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God” (1 Corinthians 2:10). And because of His internal lamp, the Scriptures are now yours to read, absorb, comprehend, and live by.
But first, you’ve got to commit to do it.
Be in it. If this is not already a habit of yours, now is the time to begin reading a portion of the Bible every day. Ideally, read it together as husband and wife – in the morning, perhaps, or before bed. Be like the writer of Psalm 119, who could say, “With all my heart I have sought You … Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You” (Psalm 119:10-11).
Those who practice a consistent pattern of reading the Bible soon discover it to be “more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb” (Psalm 19:10).
Stay under it. You’re right; the Bible can be deep and challenging. That’s why it’s so important to be part of a church where the Word is faithfully taught and preached. By hearing it explained in sermons and Bible study classes, you’ll get a broader, more balanced view of what God is saying through His Word. You’ll also get to join with others who are on the same journey you are, wanting to be fed by the truths of Scripture. “Continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them” (2 Timothy 3:14).
Live it. Unlike most other books, which are only designed to be read and digested, the Bible is a living book. It lives because the Holy Spirit still resonates within its words. It lives because, unlike the ancient writings of other religions, its Author is still alive. And it lives because it becomes a part of who you are, how you think, and what you do. “Prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers” (James 1:22).
Jesus talked about people who build their lives on sand – their own logic, their best guesses, the latest reasoning. When the storms of life begin to blow (which they always will), foundations of sand will only result in total disaster. Their houses may light up and look nice for a while, but they are tragedies waiting to happen. Ultimately they collapse.
But Jesus said, “Everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them may be compared to a wise man who builds on the rock. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock” (Matthew 7:24-25). When your home is founded on the rock of God’s unchanging Word, it is insured against destruction.
That’s because God has the right plan for everything, and He’s revealed these plans in His Word. They’re right there for anyone who will read it and apply it.
God has a plan for the way you handle your money. A plan for the way you raise your children. A plan for the way you treat your body. A plan for the way you spend your time. A plan for the way you handle conflict. Isn’t it just like your Maker to know exactly what you need?
If being a regular Bible reader is new for you, you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll begin thinking differently and more eternally. And if you are serious about establishing strategies for life based on God’s way of doing things, He will guide you to make connections between what you’re reading and how it applies. It’s an enlightening journey with discoveries to be made all the time.
Every aspect of your life that you submit to, God’s principles will grow stronger and more long-lasting over time. But any part you withhold from Him, choosing instead to try your own hand at it, will weaken and eventually fail when the storms of life hit you. It may, in fact, be the one area that hastens the downfall of your home and marriage.
Wise couples build their houses on the rock of God’s Word. They’ve seen what sand can do. They know how it feels when their footing gets soft and the foundation gives way. That’s why must determine to build your life and marriage on the solid rock of the Bible, and then you can plan on a stronger future – no matter how bad the storms get.
Today’s Dare
Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.
Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. – Psalm 119:105
For some people, the Bible seems just too big to understand. It’s like an impossible challenge. They don’t know where or how to begin. But as a Christian, you’re not left alone to try grasping the major themes and deep meanings of the Bible. The Holy Spirit, who now lives in your heart by the way of salvation, is an illuminator of truth. “For the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God” (1 Corinthians 2:10). And because of His internal lamp, the Scriptures are now yours to read, absorb, comprehend, and live by.
But first, you’ve got to commit to do it.
Be in it. If this is not already a habit of yours, now is the time to begin reading a portion of the Bible every day. Ideally, read it together as husband and wife – in the morning, perhaps, or before bed. Be like the writer of Psalm 119, who could say, “With all my heart I have sought You … Your word I have treasured in my heart, that I may not sin against You” (Psalm 119:10-11).
Those who practice a consistent pattern of reading the Bible soon discover it to be “more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb” (Psalm 19:10).
Stay under it. You’re right; the Bible can be deep and challenging. That’s why it’s so important to be part of a church where the Word is faithfully taught and preached. By hearing it explained in sermons and Bible study classes, you’ll get a broader, more balanced view of what God is saying through His Word. You’ll also get to join with others who are on the same journey you are, wanting to be fed by the truths of Scripture. “Continue in the things you have learned and become convinced of, knowing from whom you have learned them” (2 Timothy 3:14).
Live it. Unlike most other books, which are only designed to be read and digested, the Bible is a living book. It lives because the Holy Spirit still resonates within its words. It lives because, unlike the ancient writings of other religions, its Author is still alive. And it lives because it becomes a part of who you are, how you think, and what you do. “Prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers” (James 1:22).
Jesus talked about people who build their lives on sand – their own logic, their best guesses, the latest reasoning. When the storms of life begin to blow (which they always will), foundations of sand will only result in total disaster. Their houses may light up and look nice for a while, but they are tragedies waiting to happen. Ultimately they collapse.
But Jesus said, “Everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them may be compared to a wise man who builds on the rock. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock” (Matthew 7:24-25). When your home is founded on the rock of God’s unchanging Word, it is insured against destruction.
That’s because God has the right plan for everything, and He’s revealed these plans in His Word. They’re right there for anyone who will read it and apply it.
God has a plan for the way you handle your money. A plan for the way you raise your children. A plan for the way you treat your body. A plan for the way you spend your time. A plan for the way you handle conflict. Isn’t it just like your Maker to know exactly what you need?
If being a regular Bible reader is new for you, you’ll be surprised how quickly you’ll begin thinking differently and more eternally. And if you are serious about establishing strategies for life based on God’s way of doing things, He will guide you to make connections between what you’re reading and how it applies. It’s an enlightening journey with discoveries to be made all the time.
Every aspect of your life that you submit to, God’s principles will grow stronger and more long-lasting over time. But any part you withhold from Him, choosing instead to try your own hand at it, will weaken and eventually fail when the storms of life hit you. It may, in fact, be the one area that hastens the downfall of your home and marriage.
Wise couples build their houses on the rock of God’s Word. They’ve seen what sand can do. They know how it feels when their footing gets soft and the foundation gives way. That’s why must determine to build your life and marriage on the solid rock of the Bible, and then you can plan on a stronger future – no matter how bad the storms get.
Today’s Dare
Commit to reading the Bible every day. Find a devotional book or other resource that will give you some guidance. If your spouse is open to it, see if they will commit to daily Bible reading with you. Begin submitting each area of your life to its guidance and start building on the rock.
Love dare-day 35
Love is Accountable
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22
Mighty sequoia trees tower hundreds of feet in the air and can withstand intense environmental pressures. Lightning can strike them, fierce winds can blow, and forest fires can rage around them. But the sequoia endures, standing firm, only growing stronger through the trials.
One of the secrets to the strength of this giant tree is what goes on below the surface. Unlike many trees, they reach out and interlock their roots with the sequoias around them. Each becomes empowered and reinforced by the strength of each others.
The secret to the sequoia is also the key to maintaining a strong, healthy marriage. A couple that faces problems alone is more likely to fall apart during rough times. However, the ones who interlock their lives in a network of other strong marriages radically increase their chances of surviving the fiercest of storms. It is crucial that a husband and wife pursue godly advice, healthy friendships, and experienced mentors.
Everyone needs wise counsel throughout life. Wise people constantly seek it and gladly receive it. Fools never ask for it and then ignore it when it’s given to them.
As the Bible so clearly explains, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 12:15).
Gaining wise counsel is like having a detailed road map and a personal guide while traveling on a long, challenging journey. It can be the difference between continual success or the destruction of another marriage. It is vital that you invite strong couples to share the wisdom they have gained through their own successes and failures.
Why waste years of your life learning painful lessons when you could discover those same truths during a few hours of wise counsel? Why not cross the bridges others have built? Wisdom is more valuable than gold. Not receiving it is like letting priceless coins pass through your fingers.
Good marriage mentors warn you before you make a bad decision. They encourage you when you are ready to give up. And they cheer you on as you reach new levels of intimacy in your marriage.
Do you have an older couple or a friend or a friend of the same gender you can turn to for good advice, for prayer support, and for regular accountability checkups? Do you have someone in your life who shoots straight with you?
You and your spouse need these types of friends and mentors on a consistent basis. The Bible says, “Encourage one another day after day … so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13). Too often we can isolate ourselves from others. If we are not careful, we could push away the people who love us the most.
You must guard yourself against the wrong influencers. Everyone has an opinion and some people will encourage you to act selfishly and leave your mate in order to pursue your own happiness. Be careful about listening to advice from people who don’t have a good marriage themselves.
If your marriage is hanging by a thread or already heading for a divorce, then you need to stop everything and pursue solid counseling as quickly as possible. Call a pastor, a Bible-believing counselor, or a marriage ministry today. As awkward as it may initially be to open up your life to a stranger, your marriage is worth every second spent and every sacrifice you will make for it. Even if your marriage is fairly stable, you’re in no less need of honest, open mentors – people who can put wind in your sails and make your marriage even better.
How do you pick a good mentor? You look for a person who has the kind of marriage you want. You look for a person whose heart for Christ comes first before everything else. You look for someone who doesn’t live by his or her opinions but by the unchanging Word of God. And more times than not, this person will likely be delighted you asked for help. Start praying for God to send this person into your life. Then pick a time to meet and talk.
If this doesn’t sound too important to you, it would be a good idea to ask yourself why. Do you have something to hide? Are you afraid you will be embarrassed? Do you think your marriage is exempt from needing outside help? Does diving into a river of positive influence not appeal to you? Don’t be the captain of another Titanic divorce by ignoring the warning signs around you when you could have been helped.
Here’s an important reminder from Scripture: “Each one of us will give an account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12). This appointment is unbreakable. And though we’re all ultimately responsible for the way we approach it, we can surely stand as much help as others can give. It might just be the relational influence that takes your marriage from mediocre to amazing.
Today’s Dare
Find a marriage mentor – someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed. – Proverbs 15:22
Mighty sequoia trees tower hundreds of feet in the air and can withstand intense environmental pressures. Lightning can strike them, fierce winds can blow, and forest fires can rage around them. But the sequoia endures, standing firm, only growing stronger through the trials.
One of the secrets to the strength of this giant tree is what goes on below the surface. Unlike many trees, they reach out and interlock their roots with the sequoias around them. Each becomes empowered and reinforced by the strength of each others.
The secret to the sequoia is also the key to maintaining a strong, healthy marriage. A couple that faces problems alone is more likely to fall apart during rough times. However, the ones who interlock their lives in a network of other strong marriages radically increase their chances of surviving the fiercest of storms. It is crucial that a husband and wife pursue godly advice, healthy friendships, and experienced mentors.
Everyone needs wise counsel throughout life. Wise people constantly seek it and gladly receive it. Fools never ask for it and then ignore it when it’s given to them.
As the Bible so clearly explains, “The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man is he who listens to counsel” (Proverbs 12:15).
Gaining wise counsel is like having a detailed road map and a personal guide while traveling on a long, challenging journey. It can be the difference between continual success or the destruction of another marriage. It is vital that you invite strong couples to share the wisdom they have gained through their own successes and failures.
Why waste years of your life learning painful lessons when you could discover those same truths during a few hours of wise counsel? Why not cross the bridges others have built? Wisdom is more valuable than gold. Not receiving it is like letting priceless coins pass through your fingers.
Good marriage mentors warn you before you make a bad decision. They encourage you when you are ready to give up. And they cheer you on as you reach new levels of intimacy in your marriage.
Do you have an older couple or a friend or a friend of the same gender you can turn to for good advice, for prayer support, and for regular accountability checkups? Do you have someone in your life who shoots straight with you?
You and your spouse need these types of friends and mentors on a consistent basis. The Bible says, “Encourage one another day after day … so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13). Too often we can isolate ourselves from others. If we are not careful, we could push away the people who love us the most.
You must guard yourself against the wrong influencers. Everyone has an opinion and some people will encourage you to act selfishly and leave your mate in order to pursue your own happiness. Be careful about listening to advice from people who don’t have a good marriage themselves.
If your marriage is hanging by a thread or already heading for a divorce, then you need to stop everything and pursue solid counseling as quickly as possible. Call a pastor, a Bible-believing counselor, or a marriage ministry today. As awkward as it may initially be to open up your life to a stranger, your marriage is worth every second spent and every sacrifice you will make for it. Even if your marriage is fairly stable, you’re in no less need of honest, open mentors – people who can put wind in your sails and make your marriage even better.
How do you pick a good mentor? You look for a person who has the kind of marriage you want. You look for a person whose heart for Christ comes first before everything else. You look for someone who doesn’t live by his or her opinions but by the unchanging Word of God. And more times than not, this person will likely be delighted you asked for help. Start praying for God to send this person into your life. Then pick a time to meet and talk.
If this doesn’t sound too important to you, it would be a good idea to ask yourself why. Do you have something to hide? Are you afraid you will be embarrassed? Do you think your marriage is exempt from needing outside help? Does diving into a river of positive influence not appeal to you? Don’t be the captain of another Titanic divorce by ignoring the warning signs around you when you could have been helped.
Here’s an important reminder from Scripture: “Each one of us will give an account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12). This appointment is unbreakable. And though we’re all ultimately responsible for the way we approach it, we can surely stand as much help as others can give. It might just be the relational influence that takes your marriage from mediocre to amazing.
Today’s Dare
Find a marriage mentor – someone who is a strong Christian and who will be honest and loving with you. If you feel that counseling is needed, then take the first step to set up an appointment. During this process, ask God to direct your decisions and discernment.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Love dare-day 34
Love Celebrates Godliness
[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. – 1 Corinthians 13:6
From the moment you close your Bible in the morning nearly everything else you’ll encounter throughout the day will be luring you away from its truths. The opinions of your coworkers, the news coverage on television, your typical Websites, the various temptations of the day – all of these and more will be working overtime to shape your perceptions of what’s true and most desirable in life.
They’ll say that having a knockout wife who dresses to get other men’s attention is a good thing. They say that bad language and immorality in the movies are fine for mature people. They’ll say that church isn’t important in a person’s life. They’ll say that we each must find God in our own way.
They’ll say a lot of things. And they’ll say them so loudly and frequently that if we’re not careful, we can start believing that what they say is the way things should be. We can begin valuing what everybody else values and thinking the way everybody else does.
But the meaning of “real life” changes dramatically when we understand that God’s Word is the ultimate expression of what real life is. The teachings it contains are not just good guesses at what should matter. They are principles that reflect the way things really are, the way God created life to be. His ideals and instructions are the only pathways to real blessing, and when we see people following them in obedience to the Lord; it should cause us to rejoice.
What makes you the proudest of your husband? Is it when he comes home with a trophy from the company golf tournament, or when he gathers the family before bedtime to pray together and read the Word?
What overjoys you the most in your wife? Is it seeing her try a new painting technique in the children’s bedrooms, or seeing her forgive the neighbor whose dog dug up her plants?
You are one of the most influential people in your spouse’s life. Have you been using your influence to lead them to honor God, or to dishonor Him?
Love rejoices most in the things that please God. When your mate is growing in Christian character, persevering in faith, seeking purity, and embracing roles of giving and service – becoming spiritually responsible in your home – the Bible says we should be celebrating it. The word “rejoices” in 1 Corinthians 13:6 carries the idea of being absolutely thrilled, excitedly cheering them on for what they’re allowing God to accomplish in their lives.
The apostle Paul, who helped establish and minister to many of the first-century churches, wrote in his letters how delighted he was to hear reports of the people’s faithfulness and growth in Jesus. “We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren, as is only fitting, because your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward one another grows ever greater; therefore, we ourselves speak proudly of you among the churches of God for your perseverance and faith in the midst of all your persecutions and afflictions which you endure” (2 Thessalonians 1:3-4).
The apostle John, who had walked closely with Jesus and became one of the main leaders in the early church, once wrote to his flock, “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth” (3 John 4).
That should be what energizes us when we see it happening in our mate. More than when they save money on the grocery bill. More than when they achieve success at work. Sometimes by accepting modern culture’s take on what to applaud in our spouse, we can even be guilty of encouraging them to sin – perhaps by feeding their vanity, or by letting boys be boys.
But “love does not rejoice in unrighteousness” – not in ourselves and not in our mate. Rather, love “rejoices with the truth,” the way Paul did when he said to the Roman church, “The report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil” (Romans 16:19). He knew that the pursuit of godliness, purity, and faithfulness was the only way for them to find joy and ultimate fulfillment. Being “wise” about holiness while being “innocent” about sin – remaining unjaded and uncompromising as we travel through life – is the way to win in God’s eyes.
And what more could we want for our wife or husband than for them to experience God’s best in life?
Be happy for any success your spouse enjoys. But save your heartiest congratulations for those times when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience.
Today’s Dare
Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart. (Psalm 101:2)
[Love] does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. – 1 Corinthians 13:6
From the moment you close your Bible in the morning nearly everything else you’ll encounter throughout the day will be luring you away from its truths. The opinions of your coworkers, the news coverage on television, your typical Websites, the various temptations of the day – all of these and more will be working overtime to shape your perceptions of what’s true and most desirable in life.
They’ll say that having a knockout wife who dresses to get other men’s attention is a good thing. They say that bad language and immorality in the movies are fine for mature people. They’ll say that church isn’t important in a person’s life. They’ll say that we each must find God in our own way.
They’ll say a lot of things. And they’ll say them so loudly and frequently that if we’re not careful, we can start believing that what they say is the way things should be. We can begin valuing what everybody else values and thinking the way everybody else does.
But the meaning of “real life” changes dramatically when we understand that God’s Word is the ultimate expression of what real life is. The teachings it contains are not just good guesses at what should matter. They are principles that reflect the way things really are, the way God created life to be. His ideals and instructions are the only pathways to real blessing, and when we see people following them in obedience to the Lord; it should cause us to rejoice.
What makes you the proudest of your husband? Is it when he comes home with a trophy from the company golf tournament, or when he gathers the family before bedtime to pray together and read the Word?
What overjoys you the most in your wife? Is it seeing her try a new painting technique in the children’s bedrooms, or seeing her forgive the neighbor whose dog dug up her plants?
You are one of the most influential people in your spouse’s life. Have you been using your influence to lead them to honor God, or to dishonor Him?
Love rejoices most in the things that please God. When your mate is growing in Christian character, persevering in faith, seeking purity, and embracing roles of giving and service – becoming spiritually responsible in your home – the Bible says we should be celebrating it. The word “rejoices” in 1 Corinthians 13:6 carries the idea of being absolutely thrilled, excitedly cheering them on for what they’re allowing God to accomplish in their lives.
The apostle Paul, who helped establish and minister to many of the first-century churches, wrote in his letters how delighted he was to hear reports of the people’s faithfulness and growth in Jesus. “We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren, as is only fitting, because your faith is greatly enlarged, and the love of each one of you toward one another grows ever greater; therefore, we ourselves speak proudly of you among the churches of God for your perseverance and faith in the midst of all your persecutions and afflictions which you endure” (2 Thessalonians 1:3-4).
The apostle John, who had walked closely with Jesus and became one of the main leaders in the early church, once wrote to his flock, “I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth” (3 John 4).
That should be what energizes us when we see it happening in our mate. More than when they save money on the grocery bill. More than when they achieve success at work. Sometimes by accepting modern culture’s take on what to applaud in our spouse, we can even be guilty of encouraging them to sin – perhaps by feeding their vanity, or by letting boys be boys.
But “love does not rejoice in unrighteousness” – not in ourselves and not in our mate. Rather, love “rejoices with the truth,” the way Paul did when he said to the Roman church, “The report of your obedience has reached to all; therefore I am rejoicing over you, but I want you to be wise in what is good and innocent in what is evil” (Romans 16:19). He knew that the pursuit of godliness, purity, and faithfulness was the only way for them to find joy and ultimate fulfillment. Being “wise” about holiness while being “innocent” about sin – remaining unjaded and uncompromising as we travel through life – is the way to win in God’s eyes.
And what more could we want for our wife or husband than for them to experience God’s best in life?
Be happy for any success your spouse enjoys. But save your heartiest congratulations for those times when they are honoring God with their worship and obedience.
Today’s Dare
Find a specific, recent example when your spouse demonstrated Christian character in a noticeable way. Verbally commend them for this at some point today.
I will walk within my house in the integrity of my heart. (Psalm 101:2)
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Love dare-day33
Love Completes Each Other
If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? -- Ecclesiastes 4:11
God creates marriage by taking a man and a woman and uniting them as one. And although love must be willing to act alone if necessary, it is always better when it is not just a solo performance. Love can function on its own if there is no other way, but there is a “more excellent way” (1 Corinthians 12:31). And love dares not to stop loving before it gets there.
This “completing” aspect of love was revealed to mankind from the beginning. God originated the human race with male and a female – two similar but complementary designs meant to function in harmony.
Are bodies are made for each other. Our natures and temperaments provide balance, enabling us to more effectively complete the tasks at hand. Our oneness can produce children, and our teamwork can best raise them to health and maturity. When one is weak, the other is strong. When one needs building up, the other is equipped to enhance and encourage. We multiply one another’s joys and divide one another’s sorrows.
The scriptures say, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the other one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up”(Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10). It’s like your two hands, which don’t just coexist together but multiply the effectiveness of the other. In order to do what they do, neither is quite complete without the other.
Although our difference can frequently be the source of the misunderstanding and conflict, they have been created by God and can be ongoing blessings if we respect them.
One of you may be better at cooking, for instance, while the other is more thorough in cleaning the dishes. One may be more gentle and able to keep peace among family members, while the other handles discipline more directly and effectively. One may have a good business head but needs the other to help him remember to be generous.
When we learn to accept these distinctions in our mate, we can bypass criticism and go straight to helping and appreciating one another.
But some can’t seem to get past their partners differences. And they suffer many wasted opportunities as a result. They don’t take advantage of the uniqueness that makes each of them more effective when including the other.
One such example from the Bible is Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor who presided over the trial of Jesus. Unaware of who Christ was and against his better judgment, he allowed the crowd to influence him into crucifying Jesus.
But the one person who was more sensitive to what was really happening was Pilate’s wife, who came to him at the height of the uproar and warned him he was making a mistake. “While he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent him a message, saying, ‘Have nothing to do with what righteous Man; for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of Him” (Matthew 27:19).
She was apparently a woman of keen discernment who grasped the magnitude of these events before her husband did. Certainly, God’s sovereignty was at work, and nothing would have kept His Son from marching obediently to the cross for us. But Pilate’s dismissal of his wife’s intuition reveals an unfortunate side to man’s nature that is often downplayed. God made wives to complete their husbands, and He gives them insight that in many cases is kept from their men. If this discernment is ignored, it is often to the detriment of the man making the decision.
The effectiveness of your marriage is dependent upon both of you working together. Do you have big decisions to make about your finances or retirement planning? Are you having a real problem with a coworker who’s getting harder and harder to deal with, and you are grappling with the appropriate action to take? Are you absolutely convinced that your educational choices for the children are right, no matter what your spouse thinks?
Don’t try doing all the analysis yourself. Don’t disqualify his or her right to voice an opinion on matters that affect both of you. Love realizes that God has put you together on purpose. And though you may wind up disagreeing with your spouse’s perspectives, you should still give their views respect and strong consideration. This honors God’s design for your relationship and guards the oneness He intends.
Joined together, you are greater than your independent parts. You need each other. You complete each other.
Today’s Dare
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
If two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? -- Ecclesiastes 4:11
God creates marriage by taking a man and a woman and uniting them as one. And although love must be willing to act alone if necessary, it is always better when it is not just a solo performance. Love can function on its own if there is no other way, but there is a “more excellent way” (1 Corinthians 12:31). And love dares not to stop loving before it gets there.
This “completing” aspect of love was revealed to mankind from the beginning. God originated the human race with male and a female – two similar but complementary designs meant to function in harmony.
Are bodies are made for each other. Our natures and temperaments provide balance, enabling us to more effectively complete the tasks at hand. Our oneness can produce children, and our teamwork can best raise them to health and maturity. When one is weak, the other is strong. When one needs building up, the other is equipped to enhance and encourage. We multiply one another’s joys and divide one another’s sorrows.
The scriptures say, “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the other one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up”(Ecclesiastes 4:9, 10). It’s like your two hands, which don’t just coexist together but multiply the effectiveness of the other. In order to do what they do, neither is quite complete without the other.
Although our difference can frequently be the source of the misunderstanding and conflict, they have been created by God and can be ongoing blessings if we respect them.
One of you may be better at cooking, for instance, while the other is more thorough in cleaning the dishes. One may be more gentle and able to keep peace among family members, while the other handles discipline more directly and effectively. One may have a good business head but needs the other to help him remember to be generous.
When we learn to accept these distinctions in our mate, we can bypass criticism and go straight to helping and appreciating one another.
But some can’t seem to get past their partners differences. And they suffer many wasted opportunities as a result. They don’t take advantage of the uniqueness that makes each of them more effective when including the other.
One such example from the Bible is Pontius Pilate, the Roman governor who presided over the trial of Jesus. Unaware of who Christ was and against his better judgment, he allowed the crowd to influence him into crucifying Jesus.
But the one person who was more sensitive to what was really happening was Pilate’s wife, who came to him at the height of the uproar and warned him he was making a mistake. “While he was sitting on the judgment seat, his wife sent him a message, saying, ‘Have nothing to do with what righteous Man; for last night I suffered greatly in a dream because of Him” (Matthew 27:19).
She was apparently a woman of keen discernment who grasped the magnitude of these events before her husband did. Certainly, God’s sovereignty was at work, and nothing would have kept His Son from marching obediently to the cross for us. But Pilate’s dismissal of his wife’s intuition reveals an unfortunate side to man’s nature that is often downplayed. God made wives to complete their husbands, and He gives them insight that in many cases is kept from their men. If this discernment is ignored, it is often to the detriment of the man making the decision.
The effectiveness of your marriage is dependent upon both of you working together. Do you have big decisions to make about your finances or retirement planning? Are you having a real problem with a coworker who’s getting harder and harder to deal with, and you are grappling with the appropriate action to take? Are you absolutely convinced that your educational choices for the children are right, no matter what your spouse thinks?
Don’t try doing all the analysis yourself. Don’t disqualify his or her right to voice an opinion on matters that affect both of you. Love realizes that God has put you together on purpose. And though you may wind up disagreeing with your spouse’s perspectives, you should still give their views respect and strong consideration. This honors God’s design for your relationship and guards the oneness He intends.
Joined together, you are greater than your independent parts. You need each other. You complete each other.
Today’s Dare
Recognize that your spouse is integral to your future success. Let them know today that you desire to include them in your upcoming decisions, and that you need their perspective and counsel. If you have ignored their input in the past, admit your oversight and ask them to forgive you.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Love dare-day 32
Love Meets Sexual Needs
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:3
Some people think the Bible has nothing good to say about sex, as though all God seems concerned about is telling us when not to do it and who not `and the blessing it can be for both husband and wife. Even its boundaries and restrictions are God’s ways of keeping our sexual experiences at a level far beyond any of those advertised on television or in the movies.
In Christian marriage, romance is meant to thrive and flourish. After all, it was created by God. It’s all part of celebrating what God has given, becoming one with our mate while simultaneously pursuing purity and holiness. He delights in us when this happens.
The Song of Solomon, for example, though frequently misunderstood as nothing more than an allegory about God’s passion for His people, is actually a beautiful love story. It describes sexual acts between a husband and wife in poetic detail, showing how each one responds to the other. It expresses how honesty and understanding in sexual matters lead to a life of confident love together.
It’s true that sex is only one aspect of marriage. But as time goes by, one of you will likely value its importance more highly than the other. As a result of this, the nature of your oneness as man and wife will feel threatened and endangered.
Again, the biblical foundations of marriage were originally expressed in the creation of Adam and Eve. She was made to be “a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). The unity of their relationship and physical bodies was so strong, they were said to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
This same oneness is a hallmark of every marriage. In the act of romance, we join our hearts to each other an expression of love that no other form of communication can match. That’s why “the marriage bed is to be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4). We are not to share this same experience with anyone else.
But we are weak. And when this legitimate need goes unmet – when it’s treated as being selfish and demanding by the other – our hearts are subject to being drawn away from marriage, tempted to fulfill this longing somewhere else, some other way.
To counteract this tendency, God established marriage with a “one flesh” mentality. “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does” (1 Corinthians 7:4).
Sex is not to be used as a bargaining chip. It is not something God allows us to withhold without consequence. Though there can be abuses to this divinely designed framework, the heart of marriage is one of giving ourselves to each other to meet the other’s needs.
Sex is one God-given opportunity to do that.
So “stop depriving one another,” the Bible warns, “except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of you lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
You are the one person called and designated by God to meet your spouse’s sexual needs. If you allow distance to grow between you in this area, if you allow staleness to set in, you are taking something that rightly (and exclusively) belongs to your spouse. If you let your mate know – by words, actions, or inactions – that sex needn’t be any more than you want it to be, you rob from them a sense of honor and endearment that has been set in place by biblical mandate. You violate the “one flesh” unity of marriage.
So whether you perceive yourself as being on the deprived end, or you would admit that you are the one depriving the other, know that God’s plan for you is to meet in the middle and come to a place of agreement. But also know that the path to getting there will not be accomplished by sulking, arguing or demanding. Love is the only way to reestablish loving union between each other. All the things the Love Dare entails – patience, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, protection, honor, forgiveness – will play a role in renewing your sexual intimacy. When the love of Christ is the foundation of your marriage, the strength of your friendship and sexual relationship can be enjoyed at a level this world can never know.
“You have been bought with a price,” God has declared (1 Corinthians 6:20). He set His affections on you and went to every length to draw you into desiring Him. Now it is your turn to pay the loving price to win the heart of your mate. When you do, you will enjoy the pure delight that flows when sex is done for all the right reasons. And as if that’s not enough, you will also have the opportunity to “glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:20). How beautiful.
Today’s Dare
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. – 1 Corinthians 7:3
Some people think the Bible has nothing good to say about sex, as though all God seems concerned about is telling us when not to do it and who not `and the blessing it can be for both husband and wife. Even its boundaries and restrictions are God’s ways of keeping our sexual experiences at a level far beyond any of those advertised on television or in the movies.
In Christian marriage, romance is meant to thrive and flourish. After all, it was created by God. It’s all part of celebrating what God has given, becoming one with our mate while simultaneously pursuing purity and holiness. He delights in us when this happens.
The Song of Solomon, for example, though frequently misunderstood as nothing more than an allegory about God’s passion for His people, is actually a beautiful love story. It describes sexual acts between a husband and wife in poetic detail, showing how each one responds to the other. It expresses how honesty and understanding in sexual matters lead to a life of confident love together.
It’s true that sex is only one aspect of marriage. But as time goes by, one of you will likely value its importance more highly than the other. As a result of this, the nature of your oneness as man and wife will feel threatened and endangered.
Again, the biblical foundations of marriage were originally expressed in the creation of Adam and Eve. She was made to be “a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18). The unity of their relationship and physical bodies was so strong, they were said to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).
This same oneness is a hallmark of every marriage. In the act of romance, we join our hearts to each other an expression of love that no other form of communication can match. That’s why “the marriage bed is to be undefiled” (Hebrews 13:4). We are not to share this same experience with anyone else.
But we are weak. And when this legitimate need goes unmet – when it’s treated as being selfish and demanding by the other – our hearts are subject to being drawn away from marriage, tempted to fulfill this longing somewhere else, some other way.
To counteract this tendency, God established marriage with a “one flesh” mentality. “The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does” (1 Corinthians 7:4).
Sex is not to be used as a bargaining chip. It is not something God allows us to withhold without consequence. Though there can be abuses to this divinely designed framework, the heart of marriage is one of giving ourselves to each other to meet the other’s needs.
Sex is one God-given opportunity to do that.
So “stop depriving one another,” the Bible warns, “except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of you lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
You are the one person called and designated by God to meet your spouse’s sexual needs. If you allow distance to grow between you in this area, if you allow staleness to set in, you are taking something that rightly (and exclusively) belongs to your spouse. If you let your mate know – by words, actions, or inactions – that sex needn’t be any more than you want it to be, you rob from them a sense of honor and endearment that has been set in place by biblical mandate. You violate the “one flesh” unity of marriage.
So whether you perceive yourself as being on the deprived end, or you would admit that you are the one depriving the other, know that God’s plan for you is to meet in the middle and come to a place of agreement. But also know that the path to getting there will not be accomplished by sulking, arguing or demanding. Love is the only way to reestablish loving union between each other. All the things the Love Dare entails – patience, kindness, selflessness, thoughtfulness, protection, honor, forgiveness – will play a role in renewing your sexual intimacy. When the love of Christ is the foundation of your marriage, the strength of your friendship and sexual relationship can be enjoyed at a level this world can never know.
“You have been bought with a price,” God has declared (1 Corinthians 6:20). He set His affections on you and went to every length to draw you into desiring Him. Now it is your turn to pay the loving price to win the heart of your mate. When you do, you will enjoy the pure delight that flows when sex is done for all the right reasons. And as if that’s not enough, you will also have the opportunity to “glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:20). How beautiful.
Today’s Dare
If at all possible, try to initiate sex with your husband or wife today. Do this in a way that honors what your spouse has told you (or implied to you) about what they need from you sexually. Ask God to make this enjoyable for both of you as well as a path to greater intimacy.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Love dare-day 31
Love and Marriage
A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24
This verse is God’s original blueprint for how marriage is supposed to work. It involves a tearing away and a knitting together. It reconfigures existing relationships while establishing a brand new one. Marriage changes everything.
That’s why couples who don’t take this “leaving” and “cleaving” message to heart will reap the consequences down the line, when the problems are much harder to repair without hurting someone.
“Leaving” means that you are breaking a natural tie. Your parents step into the role of counselors to be respected, but can no longer tell you what to do. Sometimes the difficulty in doing this comes from the original source. A parent may not be ready to release you yet from their control and expectations. Whether through unhealthy dependence or inner struggles over the empty nest, parents don’t always take their share of this responsibility. In such cases, the grown child has to make “leaving” a courageous choice of his own. And far too often, this break is not made in the right way.
Are you and your spouse still living with unresolved issues because of a failure to cut the apron strings? Do either of your parents continue to create problems within your home – perhaps without their even knowing it? What needs to happen to put a stop to this before it creates too wide of a division in your marriage?
Unity is a marriage quality to be guarded at a great cost. The purpose of “leaving,” of course, is not to abandon all contact with the past but rather to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture. Only in oneness can you become all that God means for you to be.
If you’re too tightly drawn to your parents, the singular identity of your marriage will not be able to come to flower. You will always be held back, and a root of division will continue to send up new shoots into your relationship. It won’t go away unless you do something about it. For without “leaving,” you cannot do the “cleaving” you need, the joining of your hearts that’s required to experience oneness.
“Cleaving” carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to them as your new rock of refuge and safety. This man is now the spiritual leader of your new home, tasked with the responsibility of loving you “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This woman is now one in union with you, called to “see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).
As a result of this essential process, you are now free to become everything God meant when He declared you “one flesh.”
· You are able to achieve oneness in your decision making, even when you begin from differing viewpoints.
· You are able to achieve oneness in your priorities, even through you’ve come together from backgrounds that could hardly be more different.
· You are able to achieve oneness in your sexual affections toward each other, even if either of both of you have memories of impurity in your pre-marital past.
God’s decision to make you “one flesh” in marriage can make anything possible.
If this is not how things are going in your home right now, you’re unfortunately in the majority. It’s not out of character for couples of all kinds – even Christian couples – to ignore God’s design for marriage, thinking they know better than He does. Genesis 2:24 may have sounded nice and noble when it was wrapped around the sharing of vows at the wedding. But as a fundamental principle to be put into place and practiced as a living fact – this just seems too difficult to do. But this is what you must make any sacrifice to reclaim.
It’s hard – extremely hard – when the pursuit of oneness is basically one-sided. Your spouse may not be interested at all in recapturing the unity you had at first. Even if there is some desire on his or her part, there may still be issues between you that are nowhere close to being resolved.
But if you’ll continue to keep a passion for oneness forefront in your mind and heart, your relationship over time will begin to reflect the inescapable “one flesh” design that is printed on its DNA. You don’t have to go looking for it. It’s already there. But you don’t have to live it, or there’s nothing else to expect than disunity.
Leave. And cleave. And dare to walk as one.
Today’s Dare
Is there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
A man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. – Genesis 2:24
This verse is God’s original blueprint for how marriage is supposed to work. It involves a tearing away and a knitting together. It reconfigures existing relationships while establishing a brand new one. Marriage changes everything.
That’s why couples who don’t take this “leaving” and “cleaving” message to heart will reap the consequences down the line, when the problems are much harder to repair without hurting someone.
“Leaving” means that you are breaking a natural tie. Your parents step into the role of counselors to be respected, but can no longer tell you what to do. Sometimes the difficulty in doing this comes from the original source. A parent may not be ready to release you yet from their control and expectations. Whether through unhealthy dependence or inner struggles over the empty nest, parents don’t always take their share of this responsibility. In such cases, the grown child has to make “leaving” a courageous choice of his own. And far too often, this break is not made in the right way.
Are you and your spouse still living with unresolved issues because of a failure to cut the apron strings? Do either of your parents continue to create problems within your home – perhaps without their even knowing it? What needs to happen to put a stop to this before it creates too wide of a division in your marriage?
Unity is a marriage quality to be guarded at a great cost. The purpose of “leaving,” of course, is not to abandon all contact with the past but rather to preserve the unique oneness that marriage is designed to capture. Only in oneness can you become all that God means for you to be.
If you’re too tightly drawn to your parents, the singular identity of your marriage will not be able to come to flower. You will always be held back, and a root of division will continue to send up new shoots into your relationship. It won’t go away unless you do something about it. For without “leaving,” you cannot do the “cleaving” you need, the joining of your hearts that’s required to experience oneness.
“Cleaving” carries the idea of catching someone by pursuit, clinging to them as your new rock of refuge and safety. This man is now the spiritual leader of your new home, tasked with the responsibility of loving you “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25). This woman is now one in union with you, called to “see to it that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).
As a result of this essential process, you are now free to become everything God meant when He declared you “one flesh.”
· You are able to achieve oneness in your decision making, even when you begin from differing viewpoints.
· You are able to achieve oneness in your priorities, even through you’ve come together from backgrounds that could hardly be more different.
· You are able to achieve oneness in your sexual affections toward each other, even if either of both of you have memories of impurity in your pre-marital past.
God’s decision to make you “one flesh” in marriage can make anything possible.
If this is not how things are going in your home right now, you’re unfortunately in the majority. It’s not out of character for couples of all kinds – even Christian couples – to ignore God’s design for marriage, thinking they know better than He does. Genesis 2:24 may have sounded nice and noble when it was wrapped around the sharing of vows at the wedding. But as a fundamental principle to be put into place and practiced as a living fact – this just seems too difficult to do. But this is what you must make any sacrifice to reclaim.
It’s hard – extremely hard – when the pursuit of oneness is basically one-sided. Your spouse may not be interested at all in recapturing the unity you had at first. Even if there is some desire on his or her part, there may still be issues between you that are nowhere close to being resolved.
But if you’ll continue to keep a passion for oneness forefront in your mind and heart, your relationship over time will begin to reflect the inescapable “one flesh” design that is printed on its DNA. You don’t have to go looking for it. It’s already there. But you don’t have to live it, or there’s nothing else to expect than disunity.
Leave. And cleave. And dare to walk as one.
Today’s Dare
Is there a “leaving” issue you haven’t been brave enough to conquer yet? Confess it to your spouse today, and resolve to make it right. The oneness of your marriage is dependent upon it. Follow this with a commitment to your spouse and to God to make your marriage the top priority over every other human relationship.
Love dare-day 30
Love Brings Unity
Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are. – John 17:11
One of the most impressive things about the Bible is the way it linked together, with consistent themes running throughout, from beginning to end. Though written over a span of 1,600 years and composed by more than forty writers of various backgrounds and skill levels, God sovereignty authored it with one united voice. And He continues to speak through it today without going message.
Unity. Togetherness. Oneness.
These are the unshakable hallmarks of our God.
From the very beginning of time, we see His unity at work through the Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God the Father is there, creating the heavens and the earth. The Spirit is “moving over the surface of the waters” (Genesis 1:2). And the Son, who is “the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature” (Hebrews 1:3), joins in speaking the world into existence. “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness” (Genesis 1:26).
Us. Our.
All three are in perfect oneness of mind and purpose.
We later see Jesus rising from the waters of baptism, as the Spirit descends like a dove and the Father announces over this majestic scene, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased” (Matthew 3:17).
Jesus later says, “I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me” (John 6:38). His desire to answer His followers’ prayer is “so that the Father may be glorified in the Son” (John 14:13). He asks the Father to send the Holy Spirit, knowing that the Spirit will faithfully testify about the Son He loves, for “no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God” (1 Corinthians 2:11 NIV).
Father, Son, and Spirit are in pristine unity. They serve each other, love each other, and honor each other. Though equal, they rejoice when the other is praised. Though distinct, they are one, indivisible.
And because this relationship is so special – so representative of the vastness and grandeur of God – He has chosen to let us experience an aspect of it. In the unique relationship of husband and wife, two distinct individuals are spiritually united into “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). And “what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Mark 10:9 NIV).
In fact, this mystery is so compelling – and the love between husband and wife so intertwined and complete – that God uses the imagery of marriage to explain His love for the church.
The church (the bride) is most honored when her Savior is worshiped and celebrated. Christ (the bridegroom), who has given Himself up for her, is most honored when He sees her “as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:27 NIV). Both Christ and the church love and honor the other.
That’s the beauty of unity.
Husband – What would happen in your marriage if you devoted yourself to loving, honoring, and serving your wife in all things? What if you determined that the preservation of your oneness with this woman was worth every sacrifice and expression of love you could make? What would change in your home if you took that approach to your relationship on a daily basis?
Wife – What would happen if you made it your mission to do everything possible to promote togetherness of heart with your husband? What if every threat to your unity was treated as a poison, a cancer, an enemy to be eliminated by love, humility, and selflessness? What would your marriage become if you were never again willing to see your oneness torn apart?
The unity of the Trinity, as seen beyond the reaches of history past and continuing into the future, is evidence of the power of oneness. It is unbreakable. It is unending. And it is this same spiritual reality that disguises itself as your home and mailing address. Though painted in the colors of work schedules and doctor visits and trips to the grocery, oneness is the eternal thread that runs through the daily experience of what you call “your marriage,” giving it a purpose to be defended for life.
Therefore, love this one who is as much a part of your body as you are. Serve this one whose needs cannot be separated from your own. Honor this one who, when raised upon the pedestal of your love, raises you up too in the eyes of God, all at the same time.
Today’s Dare
Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
Father, keep them in Your name, the name which You have given Me, that they may be one even as We are. – John 17:11
One of the most impressive things about the Bible is the way it linked together, with consistent themes running throughout, from beginning to end. Though written over a span of 1,600 years and composed by more than forty writers of various backgrounds and skill levels, God sovereignty authored it with one united voice. And He continues to speak through it today without going message.
Unity. Togetherness. Oneness.
These are the unshakable hallmarks of our God.
From the very beginning of time, we see His unity at work through the Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. God the Father is there, creating the heavens and the earth. The Spirit is “moving over the surface of the waters” (Genesis 1:2). And the Son, who is “the radiance of His glory and the exact representation of His nature” (Hebrews 1:3), joins in speaking the world into existence. “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness” (Genesis 1:26).
Us. Our.
All three are in perfect oneness of mind and purpose.
We later see Jesus rising from the waters of baptism, as the Spirit descends like a dove and the Father announces over this majestic scene, “This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased” (Matthew 3:17).
Jesus later says, “I have come down from heaven, not to do My own will, but the will of Him who sent Me” (John 6:38). His desire to answer His followers’ prayer is “so that the Father may be glorified in the Son” (John 14:13). He asks the Father to send the Holy Spirit, knowing that the Spirit will faithfully testify about the Son He loves, for “no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God” (1 Corinthians 2:11 NIV).
Father, Son, and Spirit are in pristine unity. They serve each other, love each other, and honor each other. Though equal, they rejoice when the other is praised. Though distinct, they are one, indivisible.
And because this relationship is so special – so representative of the vastness and grandeur of God – He has chosen to let us experience an aspect of it. In the unique relationship of husband and wife, two distinct individuals are spiritually united into “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). And “what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Mark 10:9 NIV).
In fact, this mystery is so compelling – and the love between husband and wife so intertwined and complete – that God uses the imagery of marriage to explain His love for the church.
The church (the bride) is most honored when her Savior is worshiped and celebrated. Christ (the bridegroom), who has given Himself up for her, is most honored when He sees her “as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless” (Ephesians 5:27 NIV). Both Christ and the church love and honor the other.
That’s the beauty of unity.
Husband – What would happen in your marriage if you devoted yourself to loving, honoring, and serving your wife in all things? What if you determined that the preservation of your oneness with this woman was worth every sacrifice and expression of love you could make? What would change in your home if you took that approach to your relationship on a daily basis?
Wife – What would happen if you made it your mission to do everything possible to promote togetherness of heart with your husband? What if every threat to your unity was treated as a poison, a cancer, an enemy to be eliminated by love, humility, and selflessness? What would your marriage become if you were never again willing to see your oneness torn apart?
The unity of the Trinity, as seen beyond the reaches of history past and continuing into the future, is evidence of the power of oneness. It is unbreakable. It is unending. And it is this same spiritual reality that disguises itself as your home and mailing address. Though painted in the colors of work schedules and doctor visits and trips to the grocery, oneness is the eternal thread that runs through the daily experience of what you call “your marriage,” giving it a purpose to be defended for life.
Therefore, love this one who is as much a part of your body as you are. Serve this one whose needs cannot be separated from your own. Honor this one who, when raised upon the pedestal of your love, raises you up too in the eyes of God, all at the same time.
Today’s Dare
Isolate one area of division in your marriage, and look on today as a fresh opportunity to pray about it. Ask the Lord to reveal anything in your own heart that is threatening oneness with your spouse. Pray that He would do the same for them. And if appropriate, discuss this matter openly, seeking God for unity.
Love dare-day 29
by Eric | 27 Comments
Love’s Motivation
Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men. – Ephesians 6:7 HCSB
It doesn’t take much experience to discover that your mate will not always motivate your love. In fact, many times they will de-motivate it. More often than you’d like, it will seem difficult to find the inspiration to demonstrated your love. They may not even receive it when you try to express it. That’s simply the nature life, even in fairly healthy marriages.
But although moods and emotions can create all kinds of moving motivational targets, one is certain to stay in the same place, all the time. When God is your reason for loving, your ability to love is guaranteed.
That’s because love comes from Him.
Think of it like this. When you were a child, your parents certainly established rules for you to follow. Your bedtime was at a certain hour. Your room had to be kept mostly clean. Your schoolwork needed to be finished before you could go play. If you were like most people, you bent these rules as often as you obeyed them. And if not for the incentive of force and consequences, you might not have obeyed them at all.
But if you met Christ along the way or received any kind of Bible teaching, you probably were exposed to this idea – “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). If you took this to heart at all, you knew you didn’t merely have your parents to answer anymore.
This was no longer a battle of wills between you and a flesh-and-blood authority figure. This was now between you and God. Your mom and dad were just the go-betweens.
As it turns out, however, the relationship between parents and children isn’t the only thing enhanced by letting God become your driving motivation. Consider the following areas where pleasing Him should become our goal:
Work. “Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23).
Service. “Obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord” (Colossians 3:22).
Everything. “Work hard at “whatever you do … knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve” (Colossians 3:23-24).
Even marriage. “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
The love that’s demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate’s sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit.
This change of focus and perspective is crucial for a Christian. Being able to wake up knowing that God is your source and supply – not just of your own needs but also those of your spouse – changes your whole reason for interacting with your mate.
No longer is it this imperfect person who decides how much love you’ll show, but rather it’s your omni-perfect God who can use even a flawed person like yourself to bestow loving favor on another.
Has your wife become fairly hard to live with lately? Is her slowness at getting over a disagreement wearing on your patience? Can she not just give it a rest? Don’t withhold your love just because she thinks differently from you. Love her “as to the Lord.”
Is your husband tuning you out, not saying much, apparently brooding over something he’s not interested in sharing? Do you feel hurt by his unwillingness to open up? Are you tired of him being so short with you, not even responding to the children the way he needs to? Don’t battle back with a double dose of silence and inattention. Love him anyway. “As to the Lord.”
Love motivated by mere duty cannot hold out for very long. And love that is only motivated by favorable conditions can never be assured of sufficient oxygen to keep it breathing. Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God – returned to Him in gratitude for all He’s done – is able to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize us.
Those who are fine with mediocre marriages can leave their love to chance and hope for the best. But if you are committed to giving your spouse the best. But if you are committed to giving your spouse the best love you possibly can, you need to shoot for love’s highest motivation. Love that has god as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain.
Today’s Dare
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayers again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person – unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.
Love’s Motivation
Render service with a good attitude, as to the Lord and not to men. – Ephesians 6:7 HCSB
It doesn’t take much experience to discover that your mate will not always motivate your love. In fact, many times they will de-motivate it. More often than you’d like, it will seem difficult to find the inspiration to demonstrated your love. They may not even receive it when you try to express it. That’s simply the nature life, even in fairly healthy marriages.
But although moods and emotions can create all kinds of moving motivational targets, one is certain to stay in the same place, all the time. When God is your reason for loving, your ability to love is guaranteed.
That’s because love comes from Him.
Think of it like this. When you were a child, your parents certainly established rules for you to follow. Your bedtime was at a certain hour. Your room had to be kept mostly clean. Your schoolwork needed to be finished before you could go play. If you were like most people, you bent these rules as often as you obeyed them. And if not for the incentive of force and consequences, you might not have obeyed them at all.
But if you met Christ along the way or received any kind of Bible teaching, you probably were exposed to this idea – “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord” (Colossians 3:20). If you took this to heart at all, you knew you didn’t merely have your parents to answer anymore.
This was no longer a battle of wills between you and a flesh-and-blood authority figure. This was now between you and God. Your mom and dad were just the go-betweens.
As it turns out, however, the relationship between parents and children isn’t the only thing enhanced by letting God become your driving motivation. Consider the following areas where pleasing Him should become our goal:
Work. “Do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Colossians 3:23).
Service. “Obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord” (Colossians 3:22).
Everything. “Work hard at “whatever you do … knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve” (Colossians 3:23-24).
Even marriage. “Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord” (Colossians 3:18). “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).
The love that’s demanded from you in marriage is not dependent on your mate’s sweetness or suitability. The love between a husband and wife should have one chief objective: honoring the Lord with devotion and sincerity. The fact that it blesses our beloved in the process is simply a wonderful, additional benefit.
This change of focus and perspective is crucial for a Christian. Being able to wake up knowing that God is your source and supply – not just of your own needs but also those of your spouse – changes your whole reason for interacting with your mate.
No longer is it this imperfect person who decides how much love you’ll show, but rather it’s your omni-perfect God who can use even a flawed person like yourself to bestow loving favor on another.
Has your wife become fairly hard to live with lately? Is her slowness at getting over a disagreement wearing on your patience? Can she not just give it a rest? Don’t withhold your love just because she thinks differently from you. Love her “as to the Lord.”
Is your husband tuning you out, not saying much, apparently brooding over something he’s not interested in sharing? Do you feel hurt by his unwillingness to open up? Are you tired of him being so short with you, not even responding to the children the way he needs to? Don’t battle back with a double dose of silence and inattention. Love him anyway. “As to the Lord.”
Love motivated by mere duty cannot hold out for very long. And love that is only motivated by favorable conditions can never be assured of sufficient oxygen to keep it breathing. Only love that is lifted up as an offering to God – returned to Him in gratitude for all He’s done – is able to sustain itself when all other reasons have lost their ability to energize us.
Those who are fine with mediocre marriages can leave their love to chance and hope for the best. But if you are committed to giving your spouse the best. But if you are committed to giving your spouse the best love you possibly can, you need to shoot for love’s highest motivation. Love that has god as its primary focus is unlimited in the heights it can attain.
Today’s Dare
Before you see your spouse again today, pray for them by name and for their needs. Whether it comes easy for you or not, say “I love you,” then express love to them in some tangible way. Go to God in prayers again, thanking Him for giving you the privilege of loving this one special person – unconditionally, the way He loves both of you.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Love Dare-day 28
Love Makes Sacrifices
He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. – 1 John 3:16 HCSB
Life can be hard. But what we usually mean is that our life can be hard. We’re the first to feel it when we’re the ones being mistreated or inconvenienced. We’re quick to sulk when we’re the ones who feel deprived or unappreciated. When life is difficult for us, we notice.
But too often the only way we notice that life is hard for our mate is when they start complaining about it. Then instead of genuinely caring or rushing in to help, we might think they just have a bad attitude. The pain and pressure they’re under don’t register with us the way it does when it’s our pain and pressure. When we want to complain, we expect everyone to understand and feel sorry for us.
This doesn’t happen when love is at work. Love doesn’t have to be jarred awake by your mate’s obvious signs of distress. Before worries and troubles have begun to bury them, love has already gone into action mode. It sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help. That’s because love wants you to be sensitive to your spouse.
Love makes sacrifices. It keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked. And when you don’t notice ahead of time and must be told what’s happening, love responds to the heart of the problem.
Even when your mate’s stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than becoming defensive. Love inspires you to say “no” to what you want, in order to say “yes” to what your spouse needs.
That’s what Jesus did. “He laid down His life for us” to show us that “we should also lay down our lives” for others. He taught us that the evidence of love is found in seeing a need in others, then doing all we can to satisfy it. “For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me” (Matthew 23:35-36).
These are the types of needs you should be looking for in your wife or husband. Instead of sitting around upset that they’re not treating you the way you think they should, let love pick you up out of your self-pity and turn your attention to their needs.
Is he “hungry” – needing you sexually, even when you don’t feel like it?
Is she “thirsty” – craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?
Does he feel like a “stranger” – insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?
Is she “naked” – frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?
Is he feeling “sick” – physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?
Does she feel in “prison” – fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?
Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are given your very best effort and focus. When your mate is overwhelmed and under the gun, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help, even if it’s merely the gift of a listening ear.
Often all they really need is just to talk this situation out. They need to see in your two attentive eyes that you truly care about what this is costing them, and you’re serious about helping them seek answers. They need you to pray with them about what to do, and then keep following up to see how it’s going.
The words “How can I help you?” need to stay fresh on your lips.
The solutions may be simple and easy for you to do, or they may be complex and expensive, requiring time, energy and great effort. Either way, you should do whatever you can to meet the real needs of the one who is a part of who you are. After all, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That’s the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And He extends the grace to do it for others.
When the New Testament believers began to walk in love, their lives together were marked by sharing and sacrifice. Their heartbeat was to worship the Lord and to serve His people. “All those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have “need” (Acts 2:44-45). As Paul said to one of these churches in a later decade, “I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls” (2 Corinthians 12:15). Lives that have been raised from death by Jesus sacrifice should be ready and willing to make daily sacrifices to meet the needs of others.
Today’s Dare
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. – 1 John 3:16 HCSB
Life can be hard. But what we usually mean is that our life can be hard. We’re the first to feel it when we’re the ones being mistreated or inconvenienced. We’re quick to sulk when we’re the ones who feel deprived or unappreciated. When life is difficult for us, we notice.
But too often the only way we notice that life is hard for our mate is when they start complaining about it. Then instead of genuinely caring or rushing in to help, we might think they just have a bad attitude. The pain and pressure they’re under don’t register with us the way it does when it’s our pain and pressure. When we want to complain, we expect everyone to understand and feel sorry for us.
This doesn’t happen when love is at work. Love doesn’t have to be jarred awake by your mate’s obvious signs of distress. Before worries and troubles have begun to bury them, love has already gone into action mode. It sees the weight beginning to pile up and it steps in to help. That’s because love wants you to be sensitive to your spouse.
Love makes sacrifices. It keeps you so tuned in to what your spouse needs that you often respond without being asked. And when you don’t notice ahead of time and must be told what’s happening, love responds to the heart of the problem.
Even when your mate’s stress comes out in words of personal accusation, love shows compassion rather than becoming defensive. Love inspires you to say “no” to what you want, in order to say “yes” to what your spouse needs.
That’s what Jesus did. “He laid down His life for us” to show us that “we should also lay down our lives” for others. He taught us that the evidence of love is found in seeing a need in others, then doing all we can to satisfy it. “For I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me” (Matthew 23:35-36).
These are the types of needs you should be looking for in your wife or husband. Instead of sitting around upset that they’re not treating you the way you think they should, let love pick you up out of your self-pity and turn your attention to their needs.
Is he “hungry” – needing you sexually, even when you don’t feel like it?
Is she “thirsty” – craving the time and attention you seem to be able to give everyone else?
Does he feel like a “stranger” – insecure in his work, needing home to be a refuge and sanctuary?
Is she “naked” – frightened or ashamed, desperate for the warm covering of your loving affirmation?
Is he feeling “sick” – physically tired and needing you to help guard him from interruptions?
Does she feel in “prison” – fearful and depressed, needing some safety and intervention?
Love is willing to make sacrifices to see that the needs of your spouse are given your very best effort and focus. When your mate is overwhelmed and under the gun, love calls you to set aside what seems so essential in your own life to help, even if it’s merely the gift of a listening ear.
Often all they really need is just to talk this situation out. They need to see in your two attentive eyes that you truly care about what this is costing them, and you’re serious about helping them seek answers. They need you to pray with them about what to do, and then keep following up to see how it’s going.
The words “How can I help you?” need to stay fresh on your lips.
The solutions may be simple and easy for you to do, or they may be complex and expensive, requiring time, energy and great effort. Either way, you should do whatever you can to meet the real needs of the one who is a part of who you are. After all, when you help them, you are also helping yourself. That’s the beautiful part of sacrificing for your spouse. Jesus did it for us. And He extends the grace to do it for others.
When the New Testament believers began to walk in love, their lives together were marked by sharing and sacrifice. Their heartbeat was to worship the Lord and to serve His people. “All those who had believed were together and had all things in common; and they began selling their property and possessions and were sharing them with all, as anyone might have “need” (Acts 2:44-45). As Paul said to one of these churches in a later decade, “I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls” (2 Corinthians 12:15). Lives that have been raised from death by Jesus sacrifice should be ready and willing to make daily sacrifices to meet the needs of others.
Today’s Dare
What is one of the greatest needs in your spouse’s life right now? Is there a need you could lift from their shoulders today by a daring act of sacrifice on your part? Whether the need is big or small, purpose to do what you can to meet the need.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Love dare-day 27
Love Encourages
Guard my soul and deliver me; do not let me be ashamed, for I take refuge in You. – Psalm 25:20
Marriage has a way of altering our vision. We go in expecting our mate to fulfill our hopes and to make us happy. But this is an impossible order for our spouse to fill. Unrealistic expectations breed disappointment. The higher your expectations, the more likely your spouse will fail you and cause you frustration.
If a wife expects her husband to always be on time, clean up after himself, and understand all her needs, she will likely live most her married life in constant disappointment. But if she gets realistic and understands that he’s human, forgetful, and sometimes thoughtless, then she will be more delighted when he is responsible, loving, and kind.
Divorce is nearly inevitable when people refuse to allow their spouses to be human. So there needs to be a transition in your thinking. You must choose to live by encouragement rather than by expectations. The way your spouse has been for the last ten years is likely what he or she will be in the future apart from your loving encouragement and an intervention from God. Love puts the focus on personal responsibility and improving yourself rather than on demanding more from others.
Jesus painted a picture of this when He talked about the person who saw the “speck” in his brother’s eye but didn’t notice the “log” in his own.
“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:4-5).
Does your spouse feel like they’re living with a speck inspector? Are they routinely on edge, fearful of not living up to your expectations? Would they say they spend most days sensing more of your disapproval than your acceptance?
Perhaps you’d respond by saying that the problem is not with you but with them. If they really do come up short in a lot of areas, why is that your fault? As far as you’re concerned, it takes both of you doing everything you can to make marriage work. If your mate doesn’t want you to be so critical, they need to realize that the issues you bring up are legitimate. You’re not saying you’re perfect, by any mean, but it does seem like you should be able to say what you think. Right?
The problem with this kind of attitude is that few people are able to respond to criticism with total objectivity. When it seems clear that someone is unhappy with you – whether by direct confrontation or the silent treatment – it’s hard not to take their displeasure personally. Especially in marriage.
After all, unlike any other friendship, your relationship with your spouse began with both of you bending over backwards to please the other. When your mate was your boyfriend or girlfriend, they were completely charmed by your personality. You could almost do no wrong. Your life together was so much easier. And though you didn’t expect it to stay that way forever, you certainly didn’t see them being so sinful and getting so angry with you. You never expected that this man or woman who promised to love you could get to where they didn’t even seem to like you.
So when this stark contrast becomes living reality, your natural reaction is to resist it. During the early days of marriage, you may have been more inclined to listen and make subtle changes. But as the years go by, your spouse’s disapproval only tends to entrench you. Rather than making you want to correct things, it makes you want to dig in even deeper.
Love is too smart for that. Instead of putting your mate in a position to rebel, love teaches you to give them room to be themselves. Even if you’re the goal-oriented type who places high demands on yourself, love calls you not to project your hard-driving ways onto your mate’s performance. You must realize that marriage is a relationship to be enjoyed and savored along the way. It’s a unique friendship designed by God Himself where two people live together in flawed imperfection but deal with it by encouraging each other, not discouraging them.
The Bible says, “Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble” (Isaiah 35:3). “Encourage one another and build up one another … Encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone” (1 Thessalonians 5:11, 14).
Don’t you want married life to be a place where you can enjoy free expression of who you are, growing within a safe environment that encourages you even when you fail? Your spouse does too – and love gives them that privilege. If your wife or husband has told you on more than one occasion that you make them feel beat down and defeated, you need to take these words to heart. Make a commitment to daily let go of unrealistic expectations and become your spouse’s greatest encourager. And the person they’re created by God to be will begin to emerge with new confidence and love for you.
Today’s Dare
Eliminate the poison of unrealistic expectations in your home. Think of one area where your spouse has told you you’re expecting too much, and tell them you’re sorry for being so hard on them about it. Promise them you’ll seek to understand, and assure them of your unconditional love.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Your life is not your own
My life is not my own. This is something I have to constantly remind myself. I am here to live for God, to do the things he has asked and to share his love throughmy actions. As a sinful human this is a very hard task. Human nature always tries to take over. I amthe worst! When there is a problem, or I'm upset I automatically go into "fix mode". I like to make everything better all the time. In my head if anyone has anproblem or anyone is hurting I can fix it. Icant but I think I can! This is something I am working in handing over to God. As of lately I have been slapped in the face many times with the fact that I can not fix things without gods help. I have tried on my own, did what I felt was best, what I thought god wanted me to do and I was painfully wrong. Thinking you are doing what god wants and knowing you are doing what god wants are two totally different things!! Man are the different! As a Christian you have to remember that you need to constantly work to strengthen your relationship with god so that you can better hear and know what he is telling you to do. I want to say a quick thanks to my husband!!! He has been my rock lately! He has been strong for the both of us, has encouraged me, comforted me more than should ever be expected and loved me unconditionally and more than anything has stood by my side! I thank god every day for him!
Now on a different note, sleep. I miss it! Not for the reason you think, Carter sleeps atleast elevan hours every night, but because I just can't go to sleep. Have been having to take twobenadryl every night in hopes it will make me sleep. But I still wake up at like three and just lay there. And I can't keep taking benadryl! Last night I was determined to fall asleep on my own and finally did around midnight but then woke up at three because I keep having terrible nightmares. People tell me it's because if hormones. Hormones are from the devil! Man! Last night in my dream I watched my dad get killed and last night Derrick was in a horrible car accident. Bad part is they were so real and so detailed that I keep seeing both their faces, in pain! Ugh!
Ok now on to Carter. Yesterday was rough! Day before he had light fever, diarrhea, wouldn't eat and kept spitting up. Yesterday he seemed fine except still wouldn't eat but then started screaming like crazy! No matter what I did he wouqldnt calm down. He was so upset he would stop breathing. So scary. Finally after trying everything I gave him some Tylenol and after another hour if screaming he finally fell asleep. Then Derrick got him to eat and poor boy was starving. Yesterday was just a bad day and he didn't feel good and I think he could tell I was having a bad day and that made him more upset. But once he calmed down things were great. He is going to be such a fun kid! I can already tell he has an awesome personality! Just like his mom! Ha ha
Now on a different note, sleep. I miss it! Not for the reason you think, Carter sleeps atleast elevan hours every night, but because I just can't go to sleep. Have been having to take twobenadryl every night in hopes it will make me sleep. But I still wake up at like three and just lay there. And I can't keep taking benadryl! Last night I was determined to fall asleep on my own and finally did around midnight but then woke up at three because I keep having terrible nightmares. People tell me it's because if hormones. Hormones are from the devil! Man! Last night in my dream I watched my dad get killed and last night Derrick was in a horrible car accident. Bad part is they were so real and so detailed that I keep seeing both their faces, in pain! Ugh!
Ok now on to Carter. Yesterday was rough! Day before he had light fever, diarrhea, wouldn't eat and kept spitting up. Yesterday he seemed fine except still wouldn't eat but then started screaming like crazy! No matter what I did he wouqldnt calm down. He was so upset he would stop breathing. So scary. Finally after trying everything I gave him some Tylenol and after another hour if screaming he finally fell asleep. Then Derrick got him to eat and poor boy was starving. Yesterday was just a bad day and he didn't feel good and I think he could tell I was having a bad day and that made him more upset. But once he calmed down things were great. He is going to be such a fun kid! I can already tell he has an awesome personality! Just like his mom! Ha ha
Love Dare-Day 26
Love is Responsible
When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. – Romans 2:1 HCSB
Today will be hard. But as you seek God’s strength and wisdom, you will be able to get through it. This day could be a milestone in your marriage if you allow it to be. So resolve to focus on what the Lord may be saying to you, and purpose to follow His leading.
Today is about personal responsibility. It’s something we all agree others should have, but we struggle to maintain it ourselves. Over the past few decades, there’s been a decline in personal responsibility. More and more, people seem less likely to acknowledge their own mistakes. We see it in politics. We see it in business. We see it in celebrity headlines.
But this is not just a problem with the rich and famous. To find an example of someone who has an excuse for every action, all we have to do is look in the mirror. We are so quick to justify our motives. So quick to deflect criticism. So quick to find fault – especially with our spouse, who is always the easiest one to blame.
We tend to believe that our views are correct, or at least much more correct than our mate’s. And we don’t believe that anybody, give our same set of circumstances, would act much differently than we have. As far as we’re concerned, we’re doing the best we can. And our spouse just ought to be glad we’re as good to them as we are.
But love doesn’t pass the blame so easily or justify selfish motives. Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with other’s needs. When love takes responsibility for its actions, it’s not to prove how noble you’ve been but rather to admit how much further you have to go.
Love doesn’t make excuses. Love keeps working to make a difference – in you and in your marriage.
That’s why the next time you’re in an argument with your spouse, instead of working up your comebacks, stop and see if there’s something worth listening to in what your mate is saying. What might happen in your relationship if instead of passing blame, you first admitted your own wrongs? As the Scripture says, “Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool” (Proverbs 17:10 NKJV).
Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front. Are you taking responsibility for this person you chose for yourself as the love of your life? How deliberate are you about making sure your spouse’s needs are met? Or are you only concerned with your mate fulfilling yours? Love calls us to take responsibility for our partner in marriage. To love them. To honor them. To cherish them.
Are you taking responsibility for your own faults? Have you said or done things to your spouse – or to God – that are wrong? Love desires to have a right relationship with both God and your mate. Once that is right, the stage is set for other areas to fall into place.
A real heart of repentance may take a while to grow in you. Pride is very resistant to responsibility, but humility and honesty before God and your spouse is crucial for a healthy relationship.
This doesn’t mean you’re always wrong and your spouse is always right. This is not a demand that you become a doormat. But if there is something that’s not right between you and God, or you and your spouse, then that should be the first priority.
“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). However, “if we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Confess your areas of sin first, then you’ll be on better ground to work things out with your spouse.
In order to walk with God and to keep His favor, you must stay clean before Him. That doesn’t mean you can never stumble but you confess it to God and ask for forgiveness when you do.
Can your spouse say that you have wronged or wounded them in any way and never made it right? Part of taking responsibility is admitting when you’ve failed and asking for forgiveness. It’s time to humble yourself, correct your offenses, and repair the damage. It’s an act of love. God wants there to be no unresolved issues between the two of you.
The problem is, to do it sincerely you must swallow your pride and seek forgiveness regardless of how your spouse responds. They should forgive you, but your responsibility does not lie with their decision. Admitting your mistakes is your responsibility. If they have wronged you, leave that for them to deal with at another time.
Ask God to show you where you have failed in your responsibility, then get it right with Him first. Once you’ve done that, you need to get right with your spouse. It may be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done, but it is crucial to taking the next step in your marriage and with God. If you are sincere, you may be surprised at the grace and strength God give you when you take this step.
Today’s Dare
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. As for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.
When you judge another, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things. – Romans 2:1 HCSB
Today will be hard. But as you seek God’s strength and wisdom, you will be able to get through it. This day could be a milestone in your marriage if you allow it to be. So resolve to focus on what the Lord may be saying to you, and purpose to follow His leading.
Today is about personal responsibility. It’s something we all agree others should have, but we struggle to maintain it ourselves. Over the past few decades, there’s been a decline in personal responsibility. More and more, people seem less likely to acknowledge their own mistakes. We see it in politics. We see it in business. We see it in celebrity headlines.
But this is not just a problem with the rich and famous. To find an example of someone who has an excuse for every action, all we have to do is look in the mirror. We are so quick to justify our motives. So quick to deflect criticism. So quick to find fault – especially with our spouse, who is always the easiest one to blame.
We tend to believe that our views are correct, or at least much more correct than our mate’s. And we don’t believe that anybody, give our same set of circumstances, would act much differently than we have. As far as we’re concerned, we’re doing the best we can. And our spouse just ought to be glad we’re as good to them as we are.
But love doesn’t pass the blame so easily or justify selfish motives. Love is not nearly as concerned with its own performance as with other’s needs. When love takes responsibility for its actions, it’s not to prove how noble you’ve been but rather to admit how much further you have to go.
Love doesn’t make excuses. Love keeps working to make a difference – in you and in your marriage.
That’s why the next time you’re in an argument with your spouse, instead of working up your comebacks, stop and see if there’s something worth listening to in what your mate is saying. What might happen in your relationship if instead of passing blame, you first admitted your own wrongs? As the Scripture says, “Rebuke is more effective for a wise man than a hundred blows on a fool” (Proverbs 17:10 NKJV).
Love is responsible and is willing to admit and correct its faults and errors up front. Are you taking responsibility for this person you chose for yourself as the love of your life? How deliberate are you about making sure your spouse’s needs are met? Or are you only concerned with your mate fulfilling yours? Love calls us to take responsibility for our partner in marriage. To love them. To honor them. To cherish them.
Are you taking responsibility for your own faults? Have you said or done things to your spouse – or to God – that are wrong? Love desires to have a right relationship with both God and your mate. Once that is right, the stage is set for other areas to fall into place.
A real heart of repentance may take a while to grow in you. Pride is very resistant to responsibility, but humility and honesty before God and your spouse is crucial for a healthy relationship.
This doesn’t mean you’re always wrong and your spouse is always right. This is not a demand that you become a doormat. But if there is something that’s not right between you and God, or you and your spouse, then that should be the first priority.
“If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us” (1 John 1:8). However, “if we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). Confess your areas of sin first, then you’ll be on better ground to work things out with your spouse.
In order to walk with God and to keep His favor, you must stay clean before Him. That doesn’t mean you can never stumble but you confess it to God and ask for forgiveness when you do.
Can your spouse say that you have wronged or wounded them in any way and never made it right? Part of taking responsibility is admitting when you’ve failed and asking for forgiveness. It’s time to humble yourself, correct your offenses, and repair the damage. It’s an act of love. God wants there to be no unresolved issues between the two of you.
The problem is, to do it sincerely you must swallow your pride and seek forgiveness regardless of how your spouse responds. They should forgive you, but your responsibility does not lie with their decision. Admitting your mistakes is your responsibility. If they have wronged you, leave that for them to deal with at another time.
Ask God to show you where you have failed in your responsibility, then get it right with Him first. Once you’ve done that, you need to get right with your spouse. It may be the most difficult thing you’ve ever done, but it is crucial to taking the next step in your marriage and with God. If you are sincere, you may be surprised at the grace and strength God give you when you take this step.
Today’s Dare
Take time to pray through your areas of wrongdoing. As for God’s forgiveness, then humble yourself enough to admit them to your spouse. Do it sincerely and truthfully. Ask your spouse for forgiveness as well. No matter how they respond, make sure you cover your responsibility in love. Even if they respond with criticism, accept it by receiving it as counsel.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Love Dare-Day 25
Love Forgives
What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ. – 2 Corinthians 2:10
This one is tough – perhaps the toughest dare in the book. But if there is to be any hope for your marriage, this is a challenge that must absolutely be taken seriously. Counselors and ministers who deal with broken couples on a regular basis will tell you that this is the most complex problem of all, a rupture that is often the last to be repaired. It cannot just be considered and contemplated but must be deliberately put into practice. Forgiveness has to happen, or a successful marriage won’t.
Jesus painted a vivid image of forgiveness in His parable of the ungrateful servant. A man who owed a sizable sum of money was surprised when his master heard his appeals for mercy and totally canceled his debt. But upon being released from this enormous load, the servant did a most unexpected thing; he went to another man who owed him a much smaller amount and demanded immediate payment. When the master heard of it, things changed dramatically in his arrangement with the slave. “His lord, moved with anger, handed him over to the torturers until he should repay all that was owed him” (Matthew 18:34). A day that had begun with joy and relief ended in grief and hopelessness.
Torture. Prison. When you think of unforgiveness, this is what should come to your mind, for Jesus said, “My heavenly Father will also do the same to you, if each of does not forgive his brother from your heart” (Matthew 18:35).
Imagine you find yourself in a prison-like setting. As you look around, you see a number of cells visible from where you’re standing. You see people from your past incarcerated there – people who wounded you as a child. You see people you once called friends but who wronged you at some point in life. You might see one or both of your parents there, perhaps a brother or sister or some other family member. Even your spouse is locked in nearby, trapped with all the others in this jail of your own making.
This prison, you see, is a room in your own heart. This dark, drafty, depressing chamber exists inside you every day. But not far away, Jesus is standing there, extending to you a key that will release every inmate.
No. You don’t want any part of it. These people have hurt you too badly. They knew what they were doing and yet they did it anyway – even your spouse, the one you should have been able to count on most of all. So you resist and turn away. You’re unwilling to stay here any longer – seeing Jesus, seeing the key in His hand, knowing what He’s asking you to do. It’s just too much.
But in trying to escape, you make a startling discovery. There is no way out. You’re trapped inside with all other captives. Your unforgiveness, anger, and bitterness have made a prisoner of you as well. Like the servant in Jesus’ story, who was forgiven an impossible debt, you have chosen not to forgive and have been handed over to the jailers and torturers. Your freedom is now dependent on your forgiveness.
Coming to this conclusion usually takes us a while. We see all kinds of dangers and risks involved in forgiving others. For instance, what they did was really wrong, whether they admit it or not. They may not even be sorry about it. They may feel perfectly justified in their actions, even going so far as to blame you for it. But forgiveness doesn’t absolve anyone of blame. It doesn’t clear their record with God. It just clears you of having to worry about how to punish them. When you forgive another person, you’re not turning them loose. You’re just turning them over to God, who can be counted on to deal with them His way. You’re saving yourself the trouble of scripting any more arguments or trying to prevail in this situation. It’s not about winning and losing anymore. It’s about freedom. It’s about letting go.
That’s why you often hear people who have genuinely forgiven say, “It felt like a weight being lifted off my shoulders.” Yes, that’s exactly what it is. It’s like a breath of fresh air rushing into your hear. The stale dankness of the prison house is flooded with light and coolness. For the first time in a long time, you feel at peace. You feel free.
But how do you do it? You release your anger and the responsibility for judging this person to the Lord. “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans 12:19).
How do you know you’ve done it? You know it when the thought of their name or the sight of their face – rather than causing your blood to boil – causes you to feel sorry for them instead, to pity them, to genuinely hope they get this turned around.
There’s so much more that could be said and so many emotional issues you may need to fight through to get there. But great marriages are not created by people who never hurt each other, only by people who choose to keep “no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5).
Today’s Dare
Whatever you haven’t forgiven in your mate, forgive it today. Let it go. Just as we ask Jesus to “forgive us our debts” each day, we must ask Him to help us “forgive our debtors” each day as well. Unforgiveness has been keeping you and your spouse in prison too long. Say from your heart, “I choose to forgive.”
Monday, April 11, 2011
Back Track-Forgot some stuff..
Thanks Danielle! You reminded me that I forgot to blog about my pregnancy! haha
Where to start?
I was so excited because for the first couple weeks I felt great...and I was so thankful that I wasn't going to be one of those that got sick...But I spoke too soon! I ended up having the worst morning, noon, and night sickness EVER! I was sick ALL THE TIME for over 4 months! I had to get a RX to try to control it. The first meds didn't work...the so they had to give me stronger meds. These meds were so strong that you couldn't take them while you were working or driving or anything. So I had to take off work for a while until I could at least stand being sick just long enough to work, then I would come home, take the meds, and be in bed by atleast 7pm. Those were rough months! I ended up losing 20 lbs, dropped to under 100 lbs. NOT FUN! There are still things I can't eat or drink because they remind me of how sick I was. I tried everything under the sun to feel better, prego pops, sea bands....anything and everything people told me to try, i would try. For the longest time I lived on milk alone. Food made me sick..and water made me sicker than anything. for Derrick and my first anniversary I was sick...and at the lake. So while everyone was out having fun, I was in the camper, SICK. OH well...
Once I got the sickness under control, I felt great! Gained my weight back pretty fast. LIke 7 lbs per dr visit. after a while they told me i needed to slow down on the weight gain. haha But i wasn't eating any more than normal..actually less than normal (what they didn't know is I had a huge baby in me!)
I ended up gaining 35 lbs, which is about the most they wanted me to gain. I wore my clothes for as long as I could. Wore my pants with safety pens and rubber bands keeping them fastened...wore any shirts that I could stretch, or that were "baby doll" like shirts. Finally about half way thru, I had to suck it up and get some maternity clothes...thank God my friend Becky gave me all of hers so I didn't have to buy much.
The hardest part is when people started telling me I had the "pregnant face" or "pregnant nose" haha basially they were saying I finally looked fat. But I dind't really mind... I kinda liked getting bigger.
Towards the end Carter would kick so hard that I would have rib shaped bruises on my ribs...
People thought I was exaggerating when I said he was taking up my whole stomach. From the very bottom of my gut, to up in my throat! and he really was...being as long as he was and as small as I was, no one knew how I had him in me. But I knew he would be big!
After I got used to not being able to sleep on my back, I slept pretty good. well as good as a pregnant girl can sleep! haha
Based on how sick I was...I swore up and down I would never have another kid. And then after how painful my delivery was, I swore again I would never have another kid. People told me I would forget all of that. I have NOT forgotten, but I think I would do it all over again for another little bundle of joy! :)
I think that basically wraps up all the important parts to my lovely pregnancy. And now, to end with the fantastic pics! haha
Left picture is right after we found out we were pregnant, so 4 weeks along. and the right picture I was 31 weeks...the next is the LAST picture I ever got pregnant.
I took this picture just for the heck of it, the day before Carter came. January 7, 2011 right before I went to work for the last time... :( who knew this would be the last picture I would get of my belly!
Where to start?
I was so excited because for the first couple weeks I felt great...and I was so thankful that I wasn't going to be one of those that got sick...But I spoke too soon! I ended up having the worst morning, noon, and night sickness EVER! I was sick ALL THE TIME for over 4 months! I had to get a RX to try to control it. The first meds didn't work...the so they had to give me stronger meds. These meds were so strong that you couldn't take them while you were working or driving or anything. So I had to take off work for a while until I could at least stand being sick just long enough to work, then I would come home, take the meds, and be in bed by atleast 7pm. Those were rough months! I ended up losing 20 lbs, dropped to under 100 lbs. NOT FUN! There are still things I can't eat or drink because they remind me of how sick I was. I tried everything under the sun to feel better, prego pops, sea bands....anything and everything people told me to try, i would try. For the longest time I lived on milk alone. Food made me sick..and water made me sicker than anything. for Derrick and my first anniversary I was sick...and at the lake. So while everyone was out having fun, I was in the camper, SICK. OH well...
Once I got the sickness under control, I felt great! Gained my weight back pretty fast. LIke 7 lbs per dr visit. after a while they told me i needed to slow down on the weight gain. haha But i wasn't eating any more than normal..actually less than normal (what they didn't know is I had a huge baby in me!)
I ended up gaining 35 lbs, which is about the most they wanted me to gain. I wore my clothes for as long as I could. Wore my pants with safety pens and rubber bands keeping them fastened...wore any shirts that I could stretch, or that were "baby doll" like shirts. Finally about half way thru, I had to suck it up and get some maternity clothes...thank God my friend Becky gave me all of hers so I didn't have to buy much.
The hardest part is when people started telling me I had the "pregnant face" or "pregnant nose" haha basially they were saying I finally looked fat. But I dind't really mind... I kinda liked getting bigger.
Towards the end Carter would kick so hard that I would have rib shaped bruises on my ribs...
People thought I was exaggerating when I said he was taking up my whole stomach. From the very bottom of my gut, to up in my throat! and he really was...being as long as he was and as small as I was, no one knew how I had him in me. But I knew he would be big!
After I got used to not being able to sleep on my back, I slept pretty good. well as good as a pregnant girl can sleep! haha
Based on how sick I was...I swore up and down I would never have another kid. And then after how painful my delivery was, I swore again I would never have another kid. People told me I would forget all of that. I have NOT forgotten, but I think I would do it all over again for another little bundle of joy! :)
I think that basically wraps up all the important parts to my lovely pregnancy. And now, to end with the fantastic pics! haha
God speaks
Derrick and I finally went back to Sunday school yesterday and this was what the lesson was over. God always knows what we need to hear.
Psalm 31
Psalm 31[a]
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 In you, LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, LORD, my faithful God.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
as for me, I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,[b]
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors
and an object of dread to my closest friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear many whispering,
“Terror on every side!”
They conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and be silent in the realm of the dead.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from all human intrigues;
you keep them safe in your dwelling
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed me the wonders of his love
when I was in a city under siege.
22 In my alarm I said,
“I am cut off from your sight!”
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his faithful people!
The LORD preserves those who are true to him,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
Psalm 31
Psalm 31[a]
For the director of music. A psalm of David.
1 In you, LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.
2 Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.
3 Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.
4 Keep me free from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.
5 Into your hands I commit my spirit;
deliver me, LORD, my faithful God.
6 I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
as for me, I trust in the LORD.
7 I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.
8 You have not given me into the hands of the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.
9 Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and body with grief.
10 My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,[b]
and my bones grow weak.
11 Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors
and an object of dread to my closest friends—
those who see me on the street flee from me.
12 I am forgotten as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
13 For I hear many whispering,
“Terror on every side!”
They conspire against me
and plot to take my life.
14 But I trust in you, LORD;
I say, “You are my God.”
15 My times are in your hands;
deliver me from the hands of my enemies,
from those who pursue me.
16 Let your face shine on your servant;
save me in your unfailing love.
17 Let me not be put to shame, LORD,
for I have cried out to you;
but let the wicked be put to shame
and be silent in the realm of the dead.
18 Let their lying lips be silenced,
for with pride and contempt
they speak arrogantly against the righteous.
19 How abundant are the good things
that you have stored up for those who fear you,
that you bestow in the sight of all,
on those who take refuge in you.
20 In the shelter of your presence you hide them
from all human intrigues;
you keep them safe in your dwelling
from accusing tongues.
21 Praise be to the LORD,
for he showed me the wonders of his love
when I was in a city under siege.
22 In my alarm I said,
“I am cut off from your sight!”
Yet you heard my cry for mercy
when I called to you for help.
23 Love the LORD, all his faithful people!
The LORD preserves those who are true to him,
but the proud he pays back in full.
24 Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
I'm back!
In your face whoever reported me! I am back and now will start blogging again! Thank you to everyone who reads! I love it!! So much has happened in just a few days! Carter can now hold his head up really steady while you hold him, holds it up perfect while on his tummy. He found himself in his tummy time mirror and just smiles and laughs at himself. He can now roll over from tummy to back, and can almost do it from back to tummy. He will scoot every where while on the floor and.... Had now started teething! He gets fussy when he eats, chews on everything and is drooling like crazy! And... Not sleeping like he was. Still sleeps great, just different. Slept over eleven hours last night. Naps are finally starting to get a little longer. And he will almost put himself to sleep, still working on that. He can put himself back to sleep tho so that's great! He has starting being really clingy to me and Derrick tho. He used to hate being held, now he wants to be held all the time but only by me or Derrick. Pretty sure he will be a shy kid. Now on to food. Still haven't figured out when and how much to feed him. He acts hungry, attacks the bottle but doesn't eat much. Pretty sure that has to do with the teething tho. thinking about starting cereal soon. Might wait till4 month appt. Not sure yet. I will say to all the mommies of kids younger than three months or soon to be mommies. Once they hit three months old, they all of a sudden have a personality and are so much fun! It's like a brand new kid! Ha and he learned so much like over night! Well I need to eat lunch! Have to remind myself to eat ha!
Love dare-day 24
Love vs. Lust
The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. – 1 John 2:17
Adam and Eve were supplied with everything they needed in the Garden of Eden. They had fellowship with God and intimacy with one another. But after Eve was deceived by the serpent, she saw the forbidden fruit and set her heart on it. Before long, Adam joined in her wishes, and against God’s command both of them ate.
That’s the progression. From eyes to heart to action. And then follows shame and regret.
We, too, have been supplied with everything we need for a full, productive, enriching life. “We have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either” (1 Timothy 6:7). But the Bible goes on to say that, having basics of food and clothing, we should be “content.” And Jesus promised these two things would always be provided to God’s children (Matthew 6:25-33).
God’s blessings, however, go so far beyond these fundamental needs, we could rightly say that we want for nothing. Yet like Adam and Eve, we still want more. So we set our eyes and hearts on seeking worldly pleasure. We try to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. For many it’s seeking sexual fulfillment in another person or in pornographic images designed to feel like a real person. We look, stare, and fantasize. We try to be discreet but barely turn our eyes away. And once our eyes are capture by curiosity, our hearts become entangled. Then we act on our lust.
We can also lust after possessions or power or prideful ambition. We see what others have and we want it. Our hearts are deceived into saying, “I could be happy if I only had this.” Then we make the decision to go after it.
“But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction” (1 Timothy 6:9).
Lust is in opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden. And for a believer it’s the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others. That’s because every object of your lust – whether it’s a young coworker or a film actress, or coveting after a half-million dollar house or a sports car – represents the beginnings of a lie. This person or thing that seems to promise sheer satisfaction is more like a bottomless pit of unmet longings.
Lust always breeds more lust. “What is the source of the wars and the fights among you? Don’t they come from the cravings that are at war within you? (James 4:1 HCSB). Lust will make you dissatisfied with your husband or wife. It breeds anger, numbs hearts, and destroys marriages. Rather than fullness, it leads to emptiness.
It’s time to expose lust for what it really is – a misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill. Lust is like a warning light on the dashboard of your heart, alerting you to the fact that you are not allowing God’s love to fill you. When your eyes and heart are on Him, your actions will lead you to lasting joy, not to endless cycles of regret and condemnation.
“His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust” (2 Peter 1:3-4).
Are you tired of being lied to by lust? Are you fed up with believing that forbidden pleasures are able to keep you happy and content? Then begin setting your eyes on the Word of God. Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart. Daily receive the unconditional love He has already proven to your through the cross. Focus on being grateful for everything God has already given you rather than choosing discontentment.
You’ll find yourself so full on what He provides, you won’t be hungry anymore for the junk food of lust.
And while you’re at it, set your eyes and heart on your spouse again. “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth … Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He watches all his paths” (Proverbs 5:18-21).
“Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15). Lust is the best this world has to offer, but love offers you the best life in the world.
Today’s Dare
End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever. – 1 John 2:17
Adam and Eve were supplied with everything they needed in the Garden of Eden. They had fellowship with God and intimacy with one another. But after Eve was deceived by the serpent, she saw the forbidden fruit and set her heart on it. Before long, Adam joined in her wishes, and against God’s command both of them ate.
That’s the progression. From eyes to heart to action. And then follows shame and regret.
We, too, have been supplied with everything we need for a full, productive, enriching life. “We have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either” (1 Timothy 6:7). But the Bible goes on to say that, having basics of food and clothing, we should be “content.” And Jesus promised these two things would always be provided to God’s children (Matthew 6:25-33).
God’s blessings, however, go so far beyond these fundamental needs, we could rightly say that we want for nothing. Yet like Adam and Eve, we still want more. So we set our eyes and hearts on seeking worldly pleasure. We try to meet legitimate needs in illegitimate ways. For many it’s seeking sexual fulfillment in another person or in pornographic images designed to feel like a real person. We look, stare, and fantasize. We try to be discreet but barely turn our eyes away. And once our eyes are capture by curiosity, our hearts become entangled. Then we act on our lust.
We can also lust after possessions or power or prideful ambition. We see what others have and we want it. Our hearts are deceived into saying, “I could be happy if I only had this.” Then we make the decision to go after it.
“But those who want to get rich fall into temptation and a snare and many foolish and harmful desires which plunge men into ruin and destruction” (1 Timothy 6:9).
Lust is in opposition to love. It means to set your heart and passions on something forbidden. And for a believer it’s the first step out of fellowship with the Lord and with others. That’s because every object of your lust – whether it’s a young coworker or a film actress, or coveting after a half-million dollar house or a sports car – represents the beginnings of a lie. This person or thing that seems to promise sheer satisfaction is more like a bottomless pit of unmet longings.
Lust always breeds more lust. “What is the source of the wars and the fights among you? Don’t they come from the cravings that are at war within you? (James 4:1 HCSB). Lust will make you dissatisfied with your husband or wife. It breeds anger, numbs hearts, and destroys marriages. Rather than fullness, it leads to emptiness.
It’s time to expose lust for what it really is – a misguided thirst for satisfaction that only God can fulfill. Lust is like a warning light on the dashboard of your heart, alerting you to the fact that you are not allowing God’s love to fill you. When your eyes and heart are on Him, your actions will lead you to lasting joy, not to endless cycles of regret and condemnation.
“His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence. For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust” (2 Peter 1:3-4).
Are you tired of being lied to by lust? Are you fed up with believing that forbidden pleasures are able to keep you happy and content? Then begin setting your eyes on the Word of God. Let His promises of peace and freedom work their way into your heart. Daily receive the unconditional love He has already proven to your through the cross. Focus on being grateful for everything God has already given you rather than choosing discontentment.
You’ll find yourself so full on what He provides, you won’t be hungry anymore for the junk food of lust.
And while you’re at it, set your eyes and heart on your spouse again. “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth … Be exhilarated always with her love. For why should you, my son, be exhilarated with an adulteress and embrace the bosom of a foreigner? For the ways of a man are before the eyes of the Lord, and He watches all his paths” (Proverbs 5:18-21).
“Do not love the world nor the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him” (1 John 2:15). Lust is the best this world has to offer, but love offers you the best life in the world.
Today’s Dare
End it now. Identify every object of lust in your life and remove it. Single out every lie you’ve swallowed in pursuing forbidden pleasure and reject it. Lust cannot be allowed to live in a back bedroom. It must be killed and destroyed – today – and replaced with the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love.
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