Oh Wednesday

Well Carter went about five hours between feedings last night. Derrick fed him at midnight and I fed him at five. Derricks sift is always pretty easy because it's the middle of the night and Carter isn't too awake so he goes right back to sleep. my shift, on the other hand, is harder. He doesn't eat much and then won't go back to sleep. I spend a good thirty min trying to feed him and another thirty to get him to sleep. So I am up foran hour while derricks shift lasts like twenty min! Guess I shouldn't complain, at least he helps! Most dads don't. At 6:30 this morning while I wad fighting with Carter to get him to sleep I had a mini break down. I keep thinking "what am I doing? I'm not a good mom, someone else should raise this kid. I don't have any idea what I'm doing". He just wears me out and being home all day with him is much harder than I expected. I thought I would actually get to do stuff but nope. Feed him, play with him(as much as a two month old can play), fight to keep him from laying on the same spot on his head, fight with him to sleep, hold him while he sleeps(cuz if I put him down he wakes up and he is super mad which makes it even harder to get him back asleep),then start it all over. I seriously hardly ever get to eat. sorry, today is my complain day! I'm so overtired and starving and extremely worried about his appointment tomorrow along with his shots, and I am sick ontop of it all. Blah! And I'm frustrated because we have friends we want to see and things we want to do but can't because Carter is so difficult. Don't get me wrong,
I love him, but he is a hard baby to deal with. And I know there are more difficult babies
out there but if one more person says "oh hes not that bad" I am going to hit them! Seriously! They aren't with him all day! They have no idea. They only seenhim when I know he is going to be semi calm! Ugh! So I use this total baby app to keep tracings everything hdienes and I keep looking at it to see if there is some type of pattern or routin I have just overlooked and nothing!ok today should be called worst day ever Wednesday! This kid is driving me crazy! He won't sleep, even with me holding him!! I am going freaking crazy! I can't go anywhere or do anything! Dad even said he has neveer seen a baby as difficult as Carter! Ok tonight is Bath night and I am sure that will add to Carters great mood. Hopefully he will sleep good tonight since his appointment is tomorrow. Whoever reads this, please pray for tonorrow. I am scared out if myind and it's just shots! Plus worried about what they will say about his head. Ending this blog for today. Start fresh tomorrow.