Sunday

Today has been a rough day for me. Carter kept taking little naps which meant as the day went on he was getting crankier and crankier. Thank goodness we were at my folks house this afternoon because after so many days alone with Carter, sleeping, eating, awake and happy for like ten min and then the screaming and trying to get him to sleep again, it starts to wear you down. Derrick went to work for anlittlw while so my folks took carter
From me for a while. It's like today I just couldnt handle the screaming. A person can only handle so many days of screaming. It almost makes me feel like I am doing something wrong. I know in my head that I'm not, babies cry and scream. That's normal. Bur it still hurts a moms heart to feel like you baby is constantly screaming.

I think it's just bothering me more today because I have other things on mind. I am getting sick, feel horrible, but I'm just worried that I am going to get Carter sick. Also, we have his two month check up Thursday and I am really nervous about it. I just have bad memories from the last time we took him to the dr and they did that blood test wherenthwy have to prick their heel... It was just bad! I am afraid for him to get his shots, how upset he us going to be, me not being able to help and will he get sick after? What do I do, home alone with a
Sick, upset baby? Also, I am scared of what they will say about his head it's flat on one side and all shaped funny. I'm afraid of what could be wrong. Guess this is my life now. Always being worried about my kids.

We finally got Carter to sleep and instead of sleeping, I am blogging. At night I have such a hard time calming down. My mind takes forever to slow down so I can sleep. And once I go to sleep, Carter wakes up. The lack of sleep is really starting to get to me. I am ready for
Him to be old enough that we can leave him somewhere over night so we can sleep.

Well let's see how tonight goes...
Him,